This story probably isn't going to be earth-shattering for many others and you may even wonder why it affects me so deeply, but I'll try to share my feelings openly and honestly.
I leave for Israel on Tuesday! I can't believe I haven't shared about that here, but I am excited, thrilled, anxious, nervous, happy...full of a range of emotions. I fly out of Atlanta and Andy and I discussed in depth how the best way for me to travel to the airport would be. Due to my diagnosis of epilepsy in the spring I have not driven in six months. I have followed this Florida law with complete submission, never taking a chance by running to the store or taking the kids somewhere when Andy was traveling. I understood that this was a condition I needed to take seriously and I did my best to embrace the reason behind this requirement. BUT, I have been counting down the days. I should be able to drive at the end of this month, which is only a few short days away! I can taste the freedom, feel the excitement of making plans with friends, enjoy the thought of running to the grocery store alone! :) After much discussion about whether I should fly or drive to Atlanta, Andy and I decided that the best choice would be for me to drive there and then upon my return he would come and get me and I could share about my trip and rest on the way home. I kept thinking about how in less than a week I would be "on the road again.." I can't help but hum that song as I think about that.
Both of us needed to update our addresses on our licenses since our recent move. We were really overdue in doing so, and thought before I left the country we should make it a priority. It was stressful pulling together forms verifying our new residence, putting our hands on our birth certificates, etc. When we arrived at the office to update everything we were pleasantly surprised to find that although Andy couldn't find his birth certificate he was able to use his current ID. We had an issue with proving our new residence, but with the help of our clerk today we were able to come up with a solution for that. It seemed that everything that had been an obstacle was being removed one at a time. What great timing that we could get this taken care of before I left and before I drove again! After everything was filled out and we updated our pictures, we were left with answering a few "quick" questions. I knew it, before she even asked it...I knew the question about epilepsy would come up. We flew through the first few questions with our acceptable answers and then the question came. "Have you ever been diagnosed with epilepsy?" I immediately said yes because that's the truth and because I will follow the "rules" and "laws" to the best of my ability. Immediately everything was halted. She mentioned something about two years and getting a doctor's approval. I quickly figured out that I would not get all of this worked out before my departure on Tuesday. I got on the phone with my doctor's office at Shands to see what I could do, until the clerk gently told me that it had to be processed on their end first. I felt defeated, deflated, and discouraged. She handed me my Florida Identification card along with my clipped ineligible Florida Driver's License.
It was hard to look at. Hard to see, that I no longer have a valid driver's license. Sure the paper work is in process, but it's hard not to be pessimistic. I know how that can go. Paper work gets lost or one party doesn't fill it out or complete it or no one's in a rush to push it through. As I type this I think I may be acting overly dramatic, but it's how I feel in this moment. It took the wind out from under me. A dark cloud seemed to loom over me the rest of the night as I considered that I may not be driving immediately upon my return. All the plans in my mind of what I'd be doing, what WE would be doing began to fly out the window. The kids and I had already discussed where we would go and how we would celebrate. I thought about how I wouldn't have to impose on friend's any longer, or arrange other drivers. I could make it to our appointments, sports, and meetings on my own. But, are we supposed to be on our own? Isn't that what these 6 months have taught me? That there's joy in community. That others love and care for me. That I've seen people lay down their lives to serve me in this season. That I need others.
So, no matter the outcome, no matter the future, no matter my circumstances, what I do know and what I am absolutely certain of is this "...all things work together for the good of those who love Him..." Resting in that truth tonight, remembering that His mercies are new every morning, and maybe, just maybe, by tomorrow I'll be ready to make some lemonade. :)
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