A War Against My Soul

So this week while Andy was out of town, and since my body is accustomed to waking early to get to the gym, I was able to get up a little bit before the kids and sit with my Bible and journal and have a quiet time.  I really enjoyed it.  There is something very calming and intimate about waking before the sun rises and sitting in a quiet and calm home with your bible open, ready to receive whatever the Lord has for you.

I decided that I would read a Psalm to line up with the date (ex. August 28th read Psalm 28), and then from there I read some of what the kids and I have been reading together in Luke and then I was lead to read James.  I wanted to write down any verses that really struck me so that I could mull over them and meditate on them.  What really struck me is that at the end of writing down the verses and re-reading them I could see a definite message that was similar in all of them.  Here are the verses I wrote.

"...keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27

"get rid of all moral filth and evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you." -James 1:21

"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.  Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." -James 3:5

"Submit yourselves then to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you." -James 4:7

Then I continued into I Peter.

As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." -I Peter 1:14-16

"Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul." -I Peter 2:11

The last part of that last verse really struck me...WAR against your soul.  I can see how sinful desires war against my soul.  Seasons when I have been in the world my soul feel empty, but the time when I'm filling up with Jesus, my soul is delighting and joyful and full of peace.  What a difference. 

I wrote a prayer in my journal after reading these verses and part of it I wanted to share.  I prayed that the Lord would make the things of this world, that are unclean, unappealing.  I asked him to help me be turned off by the things that waste time. 

I REALLY enjoy TV!  Especially when Andy is out of town.  I love having my shows that I know I can sit down and relax with when the kids are in bed.  So the night after reading these verses I sat down to watch a recording and as I looked at a few of my choices that were listed I was convicted.  I went ahead and began one of the shows that I always question and in the first 2 minutes it was as if the scales had been peeled off of my eyes and I could see it for the filth it was.  I am in no way trying to be judgemental of others and I know we all have personal convictions, but right now I am convinced that the Lord is asking me to "clean up" some of my choices.  So I deleted it.  That sentence was easy to write, but the delete button was not so easy to push!  I really wanted to see what had happened on that nights episode and was really disappointed that I didn't feel right watching it, but I kept thinking about the "sinful desires warring against my soul" and I finally made the decision that I didn't want what I was watching that night to be a part of me.  I am tired of being drawn into these programs. 

Time is limited and I want to spend my time on things that fill my soul with good things.  I believe it is, as I Peter says, a war.  I believe it begins with choices.  It just takes a compromise here and there, and then before I know it, it seems like the things of this world have a hold of me, instead of the things of the Lord.

The other night, I saw a commercial for the 19 Kids and Counting Wedding Special for Jill and I got so excited!  I love their family, and I love even more that I can watch their show and not worry whether one of my kids will get out of bed and overhear or see something on this program that they shouldn't.  It's so wholesome, uplifting, and encouraging.  So if anyone locally reads my blog and wants to join me Tuesday night, come on over!  :)

I know that TV is just one of the areas that the Lord is working on in me.  I am open and willing to let him speak to me and to direct me on how He desires for me to fill my life.  I guarantee that it will be more fulfilling to be following Him instead of being consumed by the things of this world. 

And again, since I have been so ministered to lately by wonderful praise songs I hope that you will enjoy this one.  :)

Our week :)

This has been a fairly busy week, hence the lack of a blog post, but it was a good week.  I implemented some changes to our homeschooling schedule which includes much more family reading time and that has made a huge difference in our schooling.  I feel like it's brought us together and given us a fun time to look forward to!

The start of our week began with friends nominating the boys for the ice bucket challenge.  I literally hadn't even heard of the ice bucket challenge until about a week after all my friends.  Since I'm not on facebook I have to depend on friends for the latest "news".  The boys were thrilled to be nominated and had a lot of fun completing the challenge.  (I can't get the video to upload correctly, but you can get the idea.) :)

 

Early in our homeschool week Davis completed one of his school books.  Anytime one of the kids completes a book we have a very short recognition time for them.  Everyone stops working and I call that child forward and present them with a special sticker with their name written on it.  We all clap and make a big deal about it.  They may then use that sticker later to redeem a reward.  It's usually their choice of 30 minutes on something like my phone, a computer game, or Wii.  I told Davis to go put a shirt on if he wanted to put his sticker on, then the next thing I knew I saw that he had stuck his sticker directly on his chest.  Oh well.  He loved it!

 

 

On Wednesday we headed to the Post Office to mail Knox's letter of intent to make him an official homeschooler.  You could tell it made him feel very important and special.  It's interesting what moments tend to stand out for your children.  You just never know, and I feel so blessed to get to witness them day in and day out.

 

 

Thursday morning we met friends out at our property to picnic and play.  It was so funny to watch as our friends brought out their "traveling" legos and we ended up with three separate groups spread out playing with Legos.  They really are the best toy ever invented (in my opinion).  :)

Andy was out of town for a few nights this week, so one night we went to church and one night we met friends at a weekly outdoor food truck gathering.  It was so much fun!  We purchased our food, found an area on the grass to spread out a blanket and the kids ran around while musicians were playing.  It was our first time trying it and we will definitely go back again.

 

 

 

Andy got back into town yesterday afternoon and we were all so excited to see him.  We never like to see him go, but it does make it a fun event when he arrives back home.  It really is true for us that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Every day at least one of the kids prays for "daddy to get home safely".  He is always on their minds. 

 

I have decided that while he is gone I will try to make it a special time, and not just a time where we count down the minutes until he comes home.  The other night Drew, Knox, and I looked on amazon and ordered several old Disney classics that we can watch on nights when Andy isn't here.  I figure if we watch a little bit together each night it will be something fun to look forward to.  We won't have time to do that every night, but on some of our more normal schedule days it will be something special that we can do together.

 

Today Knox and I went on a shopping date together.  He is in need of some new clothes and since he now needs to try things on before buying them he came with me.  Boy do I miss the days of 2T, 3T, etc.  Although I still get to do that with Davis and Ellis.  :) 

 

 

Today did give us some special one on one time together which was very nice.  Knox made mention that he thinks he remembers one time we went somewhere alone.  That really struck me.  It got me thinking about whether or not we ever are one on one.  I have done things several times with Drew and Knox, but it seems like we are often lumping the "bog boys" together and the "littles" together.  Since he made that comment as we left the house today I really tried to treasure our time together and take notice when he shared things or wanted to show me something.  His most exciting purchase of today was this hat.

 

It is hard to find a bigger Gator fan than this kid.  He sure does love his team!  He literally pointed out everyone he saw that was wearing a "red" shirt.  He's going to have to get used to that living in this garnet and gold town.  :)

 

Knox also helped me pick out an outfit for Ellis.  In October we always meet friends at a pumpkin patch for pictures and then we attend a local fall festival held by one of the churches.  I won't give away the entire outfit, but here's a sneak peek.

 

 

Tonight is the first Gator football game and I'm hoping the boys will get to see the start since there is a rain delay.  They sure are excited!

 

 

GO GATORS!

 

The Me Nobody Knows

Isn't it funny how sometimes we look at someone and draw a conclusion on how they must live, act, relate to others, etc.  I have found that I do that at the gym.  After consistently working out at my gym for over a year now, you begin to see familiar faces.   I have seen some of these people over and over, and slowly I have gotten to know some of them.  It begins with a little head nod, then a hello, and then conversations begin.  I have really enjoyed making "gym friends" and it's honestly one of the things I'm going to miss most when we move.  But, then there are others that I have never spoken with and in my mind I have guessed as to what job or career they may have.  There is a judge, a builder, a women's basketball coach, and a few others.  I think you get the picture.  One day I'm going to get up enough nerve to ask them what they actually do....and I'll be sure to report back here.  ;)

As a wife and mom I do something very similar.  I look at other families at church, or who homeschool, or who have blogs where their kids are always dressed adorably, smiling and seemingly experiencing life to the fullest.  But, I rarely see the ugliness.  I don't see when the mom took 30 pictures to get 1 good one, or spent too much money on the clothes to get the "look" she wanted, or the schoolwork uncompleted at the end of the day due to bad attitudes (mom and kids) :), or a "loving" wife yelling at her husband.

I know this ugliness to be true, because that ugliness is me. 

Today was a tough day. 

Lysa Terkuerst wrote a book called Unglued, which I highly recommend, and I would say it's the perfect way to describe my day.  I came completely unglued, and it was directed at Andy.  Without getting into the nitty gritty of my ugliness, I'll just say that I had needs and expectations that were unmet and I made it a point of letting it out on him.  We eventually went to our room to try and protect the kids from experiencing this attack (not sure what other word to use here) on one another, but it didn't matter.  They had already heard our voices, seen our faces, listened to our words...and it wasn't good.  We finally decided that we would have to finish this later because we needed to eat and we needed to discuss this without the kids around. 

I definitely struggle with apologies and forgiveness.  As we loaded up the kids and headed out to eat I was angry, and bitter, and resentful.  I had all sorts of feelings and emotions running through my mind.  Even when we got home and put the 2 littles to bed I was still upset.  But then something happened.  I realized that I could spend all night feeling justified and make my points even stronger, or I could spend time with the Lord and pray for my marriage and look to the bible for truth and encouragement.  My first thought was that I need to go to our room alone while Andy was putting Davis to bed and begin to do this, but as quickly as that thought came it was replaced with a clear thought...."humble yourself and apologize to your husband".   I didn't need to go sequester myself to realize what to do.  I knew what to do.  So I sat on the couch with the big boys waiting for Andy to come downstairs and I must say I couldn't hear his footsteps soon enough.  As soon as he came downstairs I told him I needed to talk with him before he left with Drew and Knox to go and get a special treat.

We found a space to be alone and I asked Andy to let me speak first.  As soon as I opened my mouth I began to pour out an apology and I was overcome with emotion.  I told him that I know it all stemmed from making it all about me and my needs and my expectations.  I truly desire for our home to be a safe place to be.  One where we can mess up, make mistakes, and be our true selves.  As I was sharing with him I began to open up about my deep down struggles, the daily disappointments of how I react to the kids, the missed moments of delighting in togetherness, the feelings of failure.  Instead of taking this moment to tell me how sorry I should be :),  he took this time to affirm me as a wife and a mom.  So instead of going to bed tonight with bitterness taking root in my heart, I will go to bed with joy in my heart at who God brought to answer my lifelong prayers of a husband. 

I hesitate to share this because of how raw and real this is, but I felt so strongly that I needed to.  I often times hear others remark on how they don't know how I do it with four kids, or how put together I appear.  The truth is, is that it's not all pretty.  There is definitely ugliness, there are mistakes, there is sin, but the real truth is that Jesus washed my sins white as snow.  The truth is
^"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 

The truth is in Jesus.  I am so grateful to know Him.  Praise God!

Again, I want to leave you with a praise song from church this morning that has been running through my head all day.  May the words of this song bless you as it did me. 
 

Friends Are Like Gold

We are so grateful for the many wonderful friends that the Lord has brought into our lives.  Whether near or far, we always love getting together with others.

 

A few weeks ago our friends Ryan and Katy were in town from California.  Ryan and Andy have been friends since middle school and he was the Best Man in our wedding. 

 

Katy and Ryan are so fun and we love every minute that we get to spend with them!  We would love for them to move back to Tallahassee one day, but they own an improv comedy school for kids and it's been going great, so I don't see Tallahassee being their home anytime soon, but you never know.  :)  I know I could round up some homeschoolers to take their classes if they ever decide to move their school here.  :)

 

Anytime they are in town, Ryan's parents host a get together and we all head over there, let the kids run around and have fun while we all catch up.

 

 

 Ryan's dad loves restoring old cars and so there is usually some sort of ride around his parent's property involved in our visit.  The kids love it!

 

 

Last month the kids and I tagged along on a work trip with Andy to St. Pete.  I was excited because I knew that we would get a change to hang out with some of our closest friends.  Chris and Andy were college roommates and as soon as I met his wife Sydney, we instantly connected.  Now, years later, as homeschool moms with 4 kids each, we have even more in common.  She is definitely a "kindred" spirit.

 

 

Three of our kids are almost exactly the same age, which made it so much fun for them to play together.  The boys are the ones that are the same age.  They also have an older daughter and we have Ellis to bring up the rear, but they all ended up playing together at some point. :)

 

Here's Jack and Davis



Knox and Noah

 



 

Drew and Luke

 

 

The kids enjoyed looking off the dock, fishing, swimming, playing games, playing legos, and just being together.

 

 

This week a few of our friends met us out in our new neighborhood so that we could play and they could get an opportunity to see the progress on our house.

 

We met for a picnic and to play and then we headed over to our lot to see the excitement of our blocks framing out the outline of our house.  It was HOT!!!  But, it was still fun and I got excited thinking of how neat it will be to host our friends out there in the future.

 

I don't know if you can see it in the picture below, but I thought it was so funny how Ellis was pursing her lips. :)

 

Several months ago a few couple friends and Andy and I decided that a date night together sounded like lots of fun.  Since one of the couples are the parents of our regular baby-sitter and the other couple has girls who always help with our kids when we get together, we figured that we could let the kids have fun hanging out at our house and we adults could go out to dinner.

 

It has worked out wonderfully.  The kids have a blast together and so do we!  So last night, after our group date, we came home and the kids stopped us at the door and told us to hold on so that they could get ready?  Apparently they worked really hard on their human pyramid and wanted to show it off.

 

I for one was very impressed!

*Davis and Ellis were not in the pyramid because they were sound asleep. :)

 



Sometimes they make crafts, play outside, play Wii, play board games, but the girls also love to do photo shoots.  Our baby-sitter is the daughter of my baby photographer. :) Here are some of the photos from yesterday's session.  I definitely see photography is her future.  :)

 

 

We love our friends so much and I pray that our kids will continue to grow in these friendships, and that God will continue to bring other friends into their lives.

 

This reminds me of a song I would sing as a child.

 

Make new friends,

but keep the old,

one is silver,

and the other's gold.

 

May that be true in their lives as well as my own. 

 

And most of all I pray that these kiddos would grow up the best of friends.  :)

 

 



6 Months Pregnant

No, not me!  :)  I'm actually talking about Elizabeth in the Bible. 

Several months ago I decided I wanted to simplify our Bible time and instead of looking for bible curriculum or a picture Bible (which I think are great) I wanted to just sit with my kids and read to them directly out of my Bible.  I can't even remember why we started in Mark, other than the fact that I wanted to read one of the Gospels with them.  We began reading a short section each day at the breakfast table.  As much as I want to say it's been full of wonderful and precious moments, the reality is that many of the times I have had to tell Davis to get back into his seat (about 100 times), or to tell Ellis to stop screaming at all of us, or to ask them to stop asking random questions in the middle of a verse.  But, even with devotion time not being a quiet and everyone in their seats folding their hands kind of moment, I still love studying the Bible together.

We just finished Mark last week and so we decided to begin a new Gospel and I chose Luke.  We thought it will be interesting to see if there is information given that wasn't included in Mark and vice versa.  What really peaked the boys' interest was when we were towards the end of Mark reading about the persecution, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus and noticed some new facts that we had either never read before or never paid close enough attention to.  That's what got us flipping around in the other Gospels to see what other information we could gather. 

So currently we are in Luke 1 (we take our time) :) and it is talking about the coming of John the Baptist.  We got to the part where Mary (pregnant with Jesus) goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth (pregnant with John).  Prior to her visit, the angel who came to Mary is talking with her, and the angel says, "Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month." (verse 36)

I thought that was interesting to see that the Bible clearly lets us know that Elizabeth is ahead of Mary in her pregnancy.  I think back on my friends who had babies before me and remember how I had about a million and one questions for them.  Because they were ahead of me they were the greatest resource I could possibly have!  I am so grateful to have others who had gone before me. 

This visit between Mary and Elizabeth peaked my interest so I looked in a commentary to see what was said.  It talked about that there will always be those that are "6 months" ahead of us.  It said to find someone who is a little bit ahead of you in the area about which you're wondering or with which you're struggling, and hang out with them just as Mary did.  Verse 56 tells us that "Mary stayed with Elizabeth for about 3 months and then returned home". 

I had the opportunity this week to hang out with a mom who is "6 months" ahead of me....in parenting, in homeschooling, in life!  It was wonderful!!!  In reality she is a few years ahead of me, but she was able to gently speak some truth into my life.  As I was sharing about how our school year was going and some of the changes I've made to our schedule and the challenge it is to school with little ones....she simply said "I think you're doing too much".  Immediately I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders.  As soon as she said this she started talking about sitting and reading with the kids, which is my very favorite thing to do by the way, and the one thing I seem to never have time to do because of our busy schedule.  One of the struggles I had been facing is that I feel like our mornings are spent divided.  I try to get the littles entertained in another room, while I sit with the older boys and begin to work through our schoolbooks in the schoolroom.  The reality is that we have to get our math done and other important subjects, but there is a vast amount of knowledge gained through reading books and that is something we can do together.  In the past it's been a favorite time for us.  We all hang out in one space and while the little ones are playing, and sometimes the big ones too, I sit and read and read and read. 

This time with my friend gave me insight into something I was really struggling with.  She gave me a lot to think about, and I know that the Lord used that time to help me step back and re-evaluate what is working, and what is NOT! :) 

Last night I stayed up until midnight researching, looking for, and ordering books that we could use.  I found a list that corresponds to our history subjects for our co-op and is already scheduled week by week.  I am so excited to make it a point to allow reading to take center stage again with the kids. 

We went to church last night and it was a great teaching by our youth pastor on David and Goliath.  I would love to do a post about just that alone later.  Several things he said really hit home, but one of the quotes he shared was....

 

God does not call the qualified,

God qualifies the call.

 

I don't have to be qualified to teach our kids, but God called me to do this and I will not be alone.  He will use different methods to support me, strengthen me, encourage me, challenge me, teach me, guide me, etc., etc.  This week he used a friend, next week it may be something different.  My prayer is that I keep my eyes focused on the Lord so that when He speaks I hear him.

 

And just because I loved getting to worship to this song last night I wanted to share this. Enjoy!
 

 



Happy "Not" First Day Back to School

Yesterday was the first day back to school for the local students.  With that being the case, one of our good homeschool friends invited several of us to join she and her kids at their local pool since it wouldn't be busy.  Well, not only was it not busy, it was practically empty!  We shared this beautiful pool with one older man who was sitting in a chair drinking his coffee.  We laughed because we thought he probably assumed that it would be a perfect morning to go relax by a quiet and serene pool since all of the kids would be back in school.  But then we showed up.  :)

It was such a fun day!  The pool itself is a wonderful set up for kids of a variety of ages.  It has a sloped entrance, another entrance with wide stairs, and the size of it was huge!

We had a great start and the kids were thoroughly enjoying themselves (and so were the mamas!).  But then the clouds began looking a little gray and we began to feel a few rain drops.  We moved all of our things under a wide awning and when we heard the rumbling of thunder decided that this would be a good time to go ahead and eat lunch.  It started off going fairly well with the kids playfully screaming with the thunder and lightening and moving tables due to the roof leaking, but then it quickly turned into a major thunderstorm.  The next little bit was a blur as I had one of my kids cemented to my leg crying from fear and constantly asking how I knew we wouldn't get hit by lightening.  We finally asked one of the employees inside the club house if we could come inside.  We found a bench right inside the door and told the kids to sit quietly and wait.  The kids did amazingly well!

 
After a few minutes, realizing the storm was here to stay for a little while, this nice older gentlemen showed us a room we could let the kids hang out in while we waited.  I stepped out for a minute to take a phone call and when I came back in, it was almost completely silent!  Then I heard them singing "Doggy, doggy, where's your bone...."  The kids loved it and were having as much fun as they were swimming!  Even Ellis got a turn to be "it".

 

After the storm blew over we even had a little bit longer to swim before heading home.  It was a nice day to come home and cuddle down and even take an impromptu nap. :) 

 

 (This one thinks he doesn't need naps anymore, but every once in awhile he still drifts off)

 

 

It was a wonderful day!  We feel so blessed to have these amazing friendships for our kids and each other.  People have asked if we get lonely homeschooling, but we have so many good friends homeschooling, or in part time schools, that I rarely feel alone.  We have one another to ask questions, share prayer requests/struggles, and hang out with. 

 

I've been blessed to have some moms a little ahead of us who share advice and wisdom, and then others in our same exact shoes who can completely relate to what we're doing.  Now, I'm hoping I'll keep in mind that there are "newer" moms behind me who could use an encouraging word or a hug and a "good job mom".

 

We are a community, and one I love being a part of!

A "New" Normal

What is normal?  The dictionary defines it using words such as usual, ordinary, a regular pattern, and not strange.  :)  I really like that last one.  As I ponder what normal is, I think about the things in our family that seem normal to us, but may seem strange to others.

The fact that our two year old sleeps in our closet in a pack n play is completely normal to us (and her).  I am curious as to what she will think of her new room with windows.  ;)







It is completely normal for us to have the kids dressed up in a variety of costumes at any time.  It's normal to see Ellis as a soldier or wearing a clone helmet 1/2 her size.  (She does have 3 older brothers.)  It's normal for the boys to come downstairs to show me who they are, when I didn't even know they were dressing up to begin with.

 

It is normal to see the kids during school time wearing next to nothing.  On this day Ellis saw that none of her brothers had on much clothing so she insisted on taking hers off and would not allow me to put anything on her the entire morning. 

 

Drew and Knox were doing school in their bathing suits on this day because we were meeting friends at a splash pad after we finished.  They wanted to make sure they were ready to go.  Completely normal for us:)

 It's VERY normal to find this little one sneaking treats off of the counter.  She is just the right height to do this and I wonder how many times she's done this and not been caught.  :)

 

So... what is normal?  All summer long I kept telling Andy I want a normal week.  A normal week to me looks like one where he is home every night by dinner and has no travel or night time work commitments.  Every spring as Andy works through session and the demanding hours it requires, I always say I look forward to when it ends and we can all catch our breath, and get back to "normal".  Well, this year, as I mentioned in a previous post, session ended and the following Thursday he was on a plane to the Keys.  I thought that was going to be a unique circumstance, but instead it was only the beginning.  I longed for time this summer where he would be home more and we would "catch up" on the time he had been gone during session.  As we have neared the end of summer I think there were a total of 2 or 3 weeks that didn't involve travel. 

 

Last night, as Andy was informing me of his upcoming travel (and I was about to have a breakdown), I realized that I needed to redefine normal.  I have discovered that when I hold certain expectations and then they are different than what I thought, I am overwhelmed with disappointment and resentment.

 

Here are some pictures that represent "reality" vs. "expectations". :)

 

 

Although these pictures make me laugh, and Andy's schedule does not, last night I realized that I need to redefine our normal;  I need to change my expectation to reflect our current reality.  The reality is that right now Andy has a lot of travel.  The reality is that he isn't able to be home every night during the week.  The reality is that Andy is working hard to provide for our family.  The reality is that Andy isn't "choosing" to leave our family, he needs to fulfill his work obligations.  The reality is that God will be there to help us through this time.

 

There is something very peaceful about changing unrealistic expectations and accepting reality.

 

 

This morning at church Pastor Kent was teaching on Luke 8:1-15, also known as the Parable of the Sower and the Seed.  In these verses Jesus describes 4 kinds of hearts.  One thing he said that specifically struck me was when he talked about the 3rd kind of heart.  It's described in verse 14...

 

"Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity."

 

Oh yes, how I have felt choked by my cares, or as the NIV puts it "life's worries". 

 

My desire is the have the 4th kind of heart.

 

"But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience." (vs.15)

 

My prayer is that by being in the Word, communicating with God throughout my day, and making a conscious effort to change my expectations, that I will bear fruit. 

 

John 15:5 says...

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

 

Andy's travel is our "new" normal.  I am not only accepting it, but I am embracing it.  I am excited to see how God will teach me, strengthen me, and reveal Himself to me as I turn to Him to carry me through.