Receiving Help

The other day, Drew was in my bed hanging out reading Tim Tebow's book, when he stopped to show me a verse that the chapter opened with.  He said that at our co-op's Mission Day this week this verse was shared.

As I was thinking about this verse, I thought of how many people have either helped us, or offered to help us during my recovery time.

In fact, as I type this one of my friends just left with all 4 of our kids to join them for home school soccer!

Receiving help has never been something that I have been able to easily accept.  And, what a shame that is.  I know that when I get an opportunity to help, it brings such joy!

As I think about some of the reasons I struggle in this area, several thoughts pop into my mind.  I'm going to be very honest in hopes that what I share may resonate with others, and also I feel that voicing some of my struggles brings a certain amount of accountability for me to want to lift these up in prayer for the Lord to work on.

1.  Pride

I want to think that I can do it all!  It's not something I even necessarily have an awareness of, but when I stop to think about it, I know that giving the impression of being a great mom and wife gets in the way of genuineness.  It's something I have been confronted with, and have been working on being more transparent and real with others.  What I have found, is that when you share your struggles, then others share theirs, and in that we can encourage and pray for one another.

2.  Returning the Favor

This one is hard to type, because to me it feels so selfish and unwilling to give.  In this season of my life, many days I have felt like I am just keeping my head above water, and the thought of adding one more thing feels like it might push me over the edge.  So if someone offers something, I immediately in my mind try to figure out if I can do the same for them.  In the past few years I often feel like I am the one who is always on the receiving end.  Although, I've also found that when opportunities have arisen to help others, it puts focus off of us and our circumstances, and there is true excitement and joy in knowing that we are helping to carry or lighten someones burden.

3.  Being a Burden

I hate to put others out!  So asking someone to drive "all the way to our house", or to take care of our kids "who may or may not behave", stresses me out!  I don't want anyone to have to "suffer" for my sake.  As I type this, it makes me laugh a little to use the word suffer, but I really just don't want to make anyone's life harder.  I know what it's like on a daily basis to take care of 4 kids.  I love them and love doing it, but there are times of fussing, whining, crying, hitting, etc, and I don't want to bring that into anyone else's world.  Although as I type this I think of how there is also giggling and hugging and cuteness and sweetness and love.

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There are other reasons I resist help.  Some of them I'm sure I'm still not even aware of.  But, what I've found in receiving help is sweetness and deepening of relationships.

This past week Andy has taken such good care of me.  In fact, several times I have thought about how if the roles were reversed I would probably be huffing and puffing and sharing with others how much work it is.  But, this week has reminded me of the compassionate and gentle characteristics that Andy possesses.  Each day he has fixed all of my meals and brought me snacks and lowered my leg gently to the floor each and every time I had to get up (even in the middle of the night for potty breaks).  :)  He has asked me how I'm doing, not just physically, but emotionally.  And he has taken wonderful care of our kids.  For all of the reasons I am finding for what a blessing this surgery and injury have been, this is one of my favorites....time together with my husband.

When one of my friends heard about my surgery she set up a meal schedule.  At first I was hesitant, because I don't want to ask for help, but then I thought about how it wasn't just me, but Andy who could use the help, so I happily accepted the offer.  Well, this week as the meals began to arrive, I realized it was much more than the food that helped, it was also the fellowship.  I had not left the house in a week and seeing some fellow home school mamas from our co-op has been so good for my heart and soul.  Plus, seeing the schedule, knowing we have meals for several weeks has lifted a burden off of my shoulders that I didn't even know I felt.  

Last week my parents came and stayed Tuesday night through Sunday to help take care of the kids (and me). :)  It was so nice to know that not only would Andy have help, but that the kids would be having a blast!  I don't know how my mom does it, but she is always up for a game or imagining a story or playing with dolls.  She's one of the most creative people I know.  I did notice a few naps this time, but they did so much with the kids I'm surprised they didn't go home and sleep for a week straight!

I've had texts and e-mails and love shown in so many ways through so many people!!!

What I'm realizing is that I can't do it all....and you know what?  I'm so glad!