How I read my bible

This past year, I was desiring to get into the Word more often.  What I found is that the more I'm in it, the more I crave it.  I have often heard it said how the Bible is alive and I have been shown time and time again that this is true.

"For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword..."

~Hebrews 4:12

It is unlike any other book.  I can read the same passage at different times and God can use His words to speak to me about the current circumstances that I am going through.

This past year I wanted to simplify things.  There are so many good devotion books out there for kids and adults, (and I own many!) but I wanted to just strip the extras away and just read directly from the Bible.

So for the kids, our devotion time usually comes during breakfast or right after, when they're still sitting around the table.  One thing I have learned is that although I enjoyed when we would gather in the living room to read our bible, most of the time was spent trying to get Ellis (and sometimes Davis), to either sit quietly, or play quietly, or keep their hands to themselves.  I found it was easier to have a less distracted time of bible reading when the boys were in their seats and Ellis was in her high chair. : )

So this year we picked a Gospel and began to read through it.  My bible, like many others, divides chapters into smaller sections with a title.  For example, we have been reading Luke and the other day we read Luke 8:16-18 and it was titled "The Parable of the Lamp".  We read it and then discussed it.  

I'm sure there will come a time when we use a devotional again, or a kid's bible.  I think those are wonderful tools to help teach the kid's more about Jesus in a fun way.

I guess I just wanted a chance to model for the kids that the Bible is enough.  It's been pretty neat to see how there have been moments when they thought a story was really cool, so they ran to their rooms to grab their bibles so that they could read it for themselves.  Even Davis and Ellis would want their picture bibles to look at a story.

Several months ago I took a month to read through Proverbs and Psalms.  I really enjoyed reading the entire books, and began keeping a journal with me so that when a particular verse or passage struck me I could write it down.  I found that doing this would slow me down to really mediate on those verses and then they would come to the forefront of my mind more often.  Also, I enjoy looking back and reading through these treasure of verses.

Since finishing those books I decided I wanted to begin reading in Acts, and since then I have just continued reading straight through.

As I have my quiet time I will begin with a simple prayer asking the Lord to speak to me through His Word.  I will usually continue reading until something grabs me.  I don't worry about whether I am understanding everything.  I know that the Lord will help me with that and that He will use the "living word" to speak to my heart the things that He wants to reveal to me.

Sometimes if a particular passage strikes me and I want to learn more I will get out my favorite commentary by Jon Courson and see what he shares about it.

This year, I have mentioned a lot about not wanting to be distracted, and in my bible time I have discovered that there is great joy in the simplicity of opening my Bible and that there is excitement as I wonder what it is the Lord will speak to me each day.

I pray that you will find excitement in His Word and that you will discover the great treasure we have been given.  Open the bible and see what the Lord reveals to your heart and then share that with others!

Les Miserables

I'm not sure if I am the last person to see Les Miserables, but last night I got comfy and cozy on the couch in my pj's and prepared to watch this movie for the first time with two of my girlfriends. 

Oh my!  I had not even thought about what to expect, but I was blown away, for many reasons.  One, I just absolutely loved the beautiful music.  I had never thought I was interested in seeing this film because I heard the entire production was singing, but each song was so beautiful and told amazing stories that I was on the edge of my seat listening.  I also loved the actors that were cast in these roles.  I will now forever be a huge Hugh Jackman fan.  To see his physical and character transformation throughout the story was truly fascinating.  Almost every main character, in some way, evoked an emotional response from me. 

Last night I lay in bed replaying the movie over in my mind and the thing that stood out to me is that one person can make a difference.  There were many examples of that in the movie, grace given, lives laid down for others, and love extended.

One of my favorite parts is when Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman), commits to care for Fantine's daughter.  Here is the song that tells this part of the story.

Throughout the remainder of the movie I loved the way Jean Valjean loved and cared for Cosette (the daughter).  He loved in a way that was not required, but showered her with love that was freely given with no expectations of anything in return.  Jean Valjean changed the course of Cosette's life because he was willing to lay down his life for another.  Although, you can quickly see that what he did for her gave his life great meaning.

So back to my original thought about how it just takes one person.  One person to change someone's life.  I know mother's and father's that are praying for wayward children, wives who are praying for their husbands, friends who are praying for unsaved friends, and the list could go on.  Have you ever considered that you may be an answer to prayer?  It makes me want to look more closely at the relationships in my life and the random people I come into contact with throughout my days.  Do they need a word of encouragement, a gentle touch, a listening ear?  Do they need to to be introduced to Jesus?  

I want to remember that I have four little ones in my home that I can make a difference for, through my words and touch.  I want to remember that it's important to spend time with them and make whatever changes are necessary in my life in order for me to be a willing part of this precious ministry.  I don't want to mother out of duty, but out of love.  Some days I am dismissive and distracted and I desire to be present.

May those in my home, and those I come in contact with, feel the love of God.

And just because I loved this last song of the movie, here it is.  If you haven't seen the movie you may want to skip this. :)

Receiving Help

The other day, Drew was in my bed hanging out reading Tim Tebow's book, when he stopped to show me a verse that the chapter opened with.  He said that at our co-op's Mission Day this week this verse was shared.

As I was thinking about this verse, I thought of how many people have either helped us, or offered to help us during my recovery time.

In fact, as I type this one of my friends just left with all 4 of our kids to join them for home school soccer!

Receiving help has never been something that I have been able to easily accept.  And, what a shame that is.  I know that when I get an opportunity to help, it brings such joy!

As I think about some of the reasons I struggle in this area, several thoughts pop into my mind.  I'm going to be very honest in hopes that what I share may resonate with others, and also I feel that voicing some of my struggles brings a certain amount of accountability for me to want to lift these up in prayer for the Lord to work on.

1.  Pride

I want to think that I can do it all!  It's not something I even necessarily have an awareness of, but when I stop to think about it, I know that giving the impression of being a great mom and wife gets in the way of genuineness.  It's something I have been confronted with, and have been working on being more transparent and real with others.  What I have found, is that when you share your struggles, then others share theirs, and in that we can encourage and pray for one another.

2.  Returning the Favor

This one is hard to type, because to me it feels so selfish and unwilling to give.  In this season of my life, many days I have felt like I am just keeping my head above water, and the thought of adding one more thing feels like it might push me over the edge.  So if someone offers something, I immediately in my mind try to figure out if I can do the same for them.  In the past few years I often feel like I am the one who is always on the receiving end.  Although, I've also found that when opportunities have arisen to help others, it puts focus off of us and our circumstances, and there is true excitement and joy in knowing that we are helping to carry or lighten someones burden.

3.  Being a Burden

I hate to put others out!  So asking someone to drive "all the way to our house", or to take care of our kids "who may or may not behave", stresses me out!  I don't want anyone to have to "suffer" for my sake.  As I type this, it makes me laugh a little to use the word suffer, but I really just don't want to make anyone's life harder.  I know what it's like on a daily basis to take care of 4 kids.  I love them and love doing it, but there are times of fussing, whining, crying, hitting, etc, and I don't want to bring that into anyone else's world.  Although as I type this I think of how there is also giggling and hugging and cuteness and sweetness and love.

*******************************************************************

There are other reasons I resist help.  Some of them I'm sure I'm still not even aware of.  But, what I've found in receiving help is sweetness and deepening of relationships.

This past week Andy has taken such good care of me.  In fact, several times I have thought about how if the roles were reversed I would probably be huffing and puffing and sharing with others how much work it is.  But, this week has reminded me of the compassionate and gentle characteristics that Andy possesses.  Each day he has fixed all of my meals and brought me snacks and lowered my leg gently to the floor each and every time I had to get up (even in the middle of the night for potty breaks).  :)  He has asked me how I'm doing, not just physically, but emotionally.  And he has taken wonderful care of our kids.  For all of the reasons I am finding for what a blessing this surgery and injury have been, this is one of my favorites....time together with my husband.

When one of my friends heard about my surgery she set up a meal schedule.  At first I was hesitant, because I don't want to ask for help, but then I thought about how it wasn't just me, but Andy who could use the help, so I happily accepted the offer.  Well, this week as the meals began to arrive, I realized it was much more than the food that helped, it was also the fellowship.  I had not left the house in a week and seeing some fellow home school mamas from our co-op has been so good for my heart and soul.  Plus, seeing the schedule, knowing we have meals for several weeks has lifted a burden off of my shoulders that I didn't even know I felt.  

Last week my parents came and stayed Tuesday night through Sunday to help take care of the kids (and me). :)  It was so nice to know that not only would Andy have help, but that the kids would be having a blast!  I don't know how my mom does it, but she is always up for a game or imagining a story or playing with dolls.  She's one of the most creative people I know.  I did notice a few naps this time, but they did so much with the kids I'm surprised they didn't go home and sleep for a week straight!

I've had texts and e-mails and love shown in so many ways through so many people!!!

What I'm realizing is that I can't do it all....and you know what?  I'm so glad!

Catching up

So the pain in my knee has definitely increased, or probably more accurately, the pain medicine from the surgery has worn off.  It's been hard to distract myself from the pain when I'm pretty much contained to my bed.  So far I have been reading, sleeping, and using my computer.  This year Andy got me a laptop and I am very grateful to be able to access a computer in bed.  I've had some fun catching up on blogs and I also have had an opportunity to listen to a few bible teachings.  

From the Duggars (19 Kids and Counting) web-site there was a link to a marriage teaching.  It was really good!  I have lots of notes that I will be able to go over in more depth.

This morning I listened to a short Jon Courson teaching on thanksgiving.  Once again I got the perspective shift I needed to see this surgery and even the pain as something to give thanks for.  He shared two verses.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

... in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Ephesians 5:20

... always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

He pointed out that not only "in" everything do we give thanks, but "for" everything we should give thanks.  So this morning I took an opportunity to give thanks for all of my current circumstances.  I may not know the whole story, but God does and I will happily rest in that.

In other news we had a busy past few weeks.

We had a special boy turn 4 years old!

 The next day we had another special boy with a birthday!

This one turned 38. :)

We also decorated for Christmas.  We laid out cheese, sausage, crackers, and chocolate and got to work.  :)

This one made us miss Rex this year.

 Andy set me up to watch a movie on my computer, so I'm off to watch some Ann of Green Gables.  So to all of you "kindred spirits", goodnight.  

Thankful

Yesterday's surgery went really well.

When my doctor came in to speak to me before the surgery, he told me he would look at my cartilage tear first to make sure that the procedure was necessary.  He left by saying he wouldn't do too much or too little.  I already felt very peaceful going in to surgery, but that was icing on the cake to assure me that I had a doctor who was looking out for my best interest and not just going to perform a procedure because that was the plan.  I was able to let go, and put all of my trust in him at that point.

So, the first question I had when I came out from anesthesia was whether or not he did the OATS procedure.  The answer was yes.  In recovery Andy showed me pictures of what took place which was really interesting, but also helped me make sense of things.  The last few pictures show the cartilage damage and the last picture shows where he plugged it.  He was unaware until he went in that there was a micro-fracture as well, which is the little line going down from the big black part.  Apparently, it goes all the way to the bone, which he said further explains some of the pain I was experiencing.

Because of that, he had to do an additional procedure where he took some blood from my hand and spun it down and did something with that.  Andy explained it, but I don't really understand it, so if you really want to know about that, you can ask him.  ;)  The second set of pictures is showing the procedure to fix the micro-fracture.  I am so thankful to have a doctor who was so thorough.

I didn't know what to expect after the surgery, but I'm a little more incapacitated than I thought I would be.  I have a big brace on, which helps stabilize my leg, but makes me off balance when moving around on my crutches.

My doctor said for the next three days it really will be going from my bed to the table or bathroom, and yesterday I didn't even make it to the table.  :)  Yesterday, I couldn't sit up without pain and feeling nauseous, but today already I'm much better.  For pain management they put a catheter in, and I also have pain medicine.  The catheter will last about three days and goes straight to my knee.  I wear a little bag around my neck with the medicine in it, and in about 3 days it will run out, and you just pull it right out.  I never knew they had pain management devices like this, but I am very grateful for it.  :)
 

As I was laying in bed last night thinking about the day I was overcome with thankfulness thinking about this time of slowing down.  The last few weeks I was rushing around, trying to think of anything that needed to be done while I could still walk unencumbered.  I had not spent much time considering what it would be like after the surgery, but as yesterday I found out what a gift this time will be.

#1.  I am getting to have special moments with the kids and they have all had turns crawling in bed with me and cuddling and talking.  I like to think I take special moments with the kids, but even when I do, I'm usually thinking of a list of things I need to get done, and rarely let myself completely be in the moment with them.  Now as they come to check in I don't feel rushed or distracted or a need to hurry their conversations.  I am loving this time with them!

#2.  Andy is off for the next two weeks to take care of us.  I am so excited to get to spend this time with him!  I must add he is a wonderful care taker.  He is patient and loving.  I thought about how I would be in his situation and as much as I've had to call him and ask him for help with every little thing, I'm not sure if I would have the same sweet attitude that he's had.  I'm very thankful for that.

#3.  I'm so thankful for all the loving friends and family who have been praying and checking in.  I feel very loved.

Today I pray that you see the many blessings that surround you, big and small.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Update soon

I've been busy trying to get things done before surgery tomorrow, so hopefully while I'm recuperating I'll have plenty of time to catch up on our life lately.  : )  In the mean time enjoy this wonderful song.

Through it all....It is Well

First of all I just have to say we had a wonderful Anniversary.  We were able to get a sitter for a good part of the day, so we had plenty of time to run some "fun" errands, go to an afternoon movie, swing by the new house, and eat a delicious dinner.

Today, I had an appointment with my orthopedic doctor to discuss surgery.  Andy was able to go with me, which was very helpful.  I don't feel like I'm the best when it comes to retaining information by listening and not writing things down.  That's why I usually have a notepad at church, and even when I was at the gym and was listening to a sermon, I would write notes in my phone.  For me it is often true...in one ear and out the other.  : )

So after discussing my MRI results and my options my doctor finally said that if I was his sister he would highly recommend that I have this surgery so that I can live an active lifestyle.  Without it, my knee would not heal, and I would always have to monitor the amount of physical activity I participate in, including how active I am with the kids.

So the nurse came in to schedule the surgery and we decided the sooner the better, since this is Andy's slower season with work and he can be home to help.  It turns out that we were able to schedule it for the week of Thanksgiving, which works out wonderfully because my parents will be able to come and care for the kids.

A quick side note: They asked me to complete a survey and I laughed out loud when this question came up.  Do they have a camera in my home?  ;)  I figured it was probably in relation to my knee injury and not my lack of patience with the kids.

Before my doctor's nurse came in to schedule to surgery, I told him not to be surprised if during the surgery he can't find the tear because I've been praying for it to heal.  I just don't want him to be confused. ;)  I would appreciate anyone reading this to pray that with me! :)

It's so amazing how God works.  This week many of my bible readings have directly been related to what I'm going through.  Even tonight as I finish preparing for bible study it talks about how nothing happens in life that has not been first filtered through the hands of God.  I firmly believe that this injury, and surgery, and distance from running and the gym is all a part of God's plan for my life. I want to keep my eyes open to see the direction I am now headed.  Honestly all I know to do is to take one step, not even knowing where the next one will land.  I believe that is all the Lord really asks of me.  To be willing to follow Him a little at a time.  I don't need to see the big picture to know that He carries me and directs my path.

This week I also was reading in 1 Timothy and came across this verse, which I don't think I've ever paid much attention to.

For bodily exercise profiteth little

but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

1 Timothy 4:8

Now, I can't wait to heal and get back to the gym, :) and I'm not trying to say exercising is not something healthy to participate in. :)  But, this was eye openning for me.  It's all about making sure I have my priorities right.  When Andy was traveling so much I had a hard time not being able to go to the gym since he wasn't here, but I didn't have a hard time sleeping a little longer.  :)  Do I desire the Word as much as my exercise?  If so, I can continue to rise early and spend that time with the Lord, even when Andy's not here.  

I love how Courson's Commentary related this to exercise.  He said that it's good to jog, and do deep knee bends, presses and curls.  But he wishes people would put the same emphasis on jogging their memory of Scripture, bending their knees in prayer, pressing on in the faith, and curling up with a good Book-The Word of God.

I pray that as I recover and return to my physical activities that I will remember that what is most important is to have an eternal perspective.  I Corinthians 9:24-27 talks about running and it reminds me that our earthly prizes are temperate, but there is an imperishable crown.  That's the one I want!  It's hard for me to realize that what I see and touch and desire here is temporary.  Even my knee healing is temporary.  I have already had the ultimate healing in Christ.  He healed my sinful heart, and made me whole in Him.  Praise the Lord!

I posted this song before, but now it has even deeper meaning for me.  Enjoy!

Happy Anniversary

I chose him then...

And I choose him now.  

Happy to celebrate 14 years of marriage with this man today. :)

Week In Review :)

I had been dreading and looking forward to this past week for awhile.  I was dreading it because I knew it would be hard to have Andy gone again, but I was looking forward to it because it was Andy's last scheduled "long" travel for awhile. :)

I wish I could say that this week was wonderful, but I can't.  It was a tough week.  Each morning I would pray and commit the day to the Lord and believe that this day would be better than the last, but for the most part that didn't happen.  I was impatient and unkind more times than I'd like to admit.  In fact one morning I wrote this verse on my hand, because although I had it on a sticky note, I knew I needed it with me at all times.  : )

*When the boys saw me write on my hand they all wanted to write something too, so I told them to think of a word or two to describe something they want to remember to do.

As hard as this week was, I can look back on it and see how each day a moment or "moments" of joy were a part of it.  Sometimes it takes me looking back on something to clearly see the good in the midst of hard.  Pictures help with this.  :)

MONDAY

(Andy was still in town)

Our week began attending CC and enjoying time with friends.  That afternoon we got hair cuts for the boys and even Ellis had her hair "floofed"

TUESDAY

We said our goodbyes...

...and got to work on school.  I knew that we needed to finish a little before lunch so that I could go vote.  This was one of our more difficult mornings.  Attitudes weren't the best from myself or the kids.  By the time we went to vote I was so flustered.  But then we got to our precinct and the kids did great!  On our way out we ran into a neighbor (that we rarely see) and she stopped me to tell me that she remembered last time we saw each other and how the kids made such an impression on her because of their patience and behavior while we were talking and how she hopes her 2 little boys will grow up like that.

She has no idea but that was just the encouragement that I needed.  I needed to have a perspective change that day and what she shared provided that for me.  As I'm typing this I'm thinking how I need to let her know that.  :)

That night we ate dinner and took baths a little early so that we could go cheer on some good buddies at their baseball game.  (Sorry, no pictures) :)

WEDNESDAY

We've had such busy weeks that we haven't had time for many "extras", but when Tuesday was a difficult day, I knew we needed something different on Wednesday.

We got a little bit of school work done first thing that morning and then headed to "library time".

Library time holds so many dear memories for me.  I first began going when Drew was about 2 months old.  Many times I would walk there.  Mr. Gary has been leading it for years and he is so gentle and kind and continues with his songs regardless of the chaos.

Davis and Ellis loved it.

Drew and Knox brought their back packs and picked out books to check out during our song time.

After the library we picked up lunch and headed out to check out the house and to meet a friend for a picnic.

On this day Ellis also got her first baby doll stroller and she absolutely LOVES pushing her babies around.  I love watching her love on her babies.  She is so sweet!

THURSDAY

We were home all morning and got a lot of school done.

BUT...I was also doing a little cleaning since I was hosting bible study at my house that night.  So I opened to back door to get the floor mat and in ran a lizard.  I didn't think I was scared of lizards, but I guess I am because I screamed and when the boys and I were looking for him and thought we saw him I screamed again.

So Andy's out of town, and I don't know what I will do if I do find him!  In the mean time Andy's mom called and when I told her about our lizard emergency, she told me that I should call our bug service.  She told me if Andy's dad was around he would just pick him up by the tail and take him out.

Wouldn't you know it, a few minutes later he came out of hiding.  My plan of putting a tupperware over his head was not going to work out.

Why couldn't he have just been on the floor?  I remembered Andy's mom telling me his dad would pick him up by the tail, so I knew what I had to do.  I opened the back door, moved Davis out of my path (so that I didn't knock him down), and grabbed the lizard's tail and screamed the entire way to and out of the door until I dropped him outside.  The boys were very impressed.  ;)

Thursday afternoon Davis and Ellis had gymnastics.

 On the way home we needed gas and I was struck by the thought of I don't often invite the kids to help or join me in what I consider the "mundane" life tasks, but how they enjoy being a part of things.

So I decided this would be Davis's turn to pump gas, and you know what?  He loved it!

That night was bible study, and I love every second that I have spent with these ladies in my home.  I am encouraged by what these fellow moms share and look forward to these special nights.  These women have been real, transparent, and willing to share their lives with one another.  The best word I can think of to describe this time is: "PRECIOUS".  

FRIDAY

A few months ago, when I realized Andy's travel wasn't going to let up anytime soon and I was discouraged, Andy and I were at lunch and he gave me some wonderful advice.  He told me I needed to put some things on the calendar to look forward to.  I'm not much of a planner, so that's hard for me, but I've thought of his words often and realized the value in what he said and I've taken his advice.  On some of our longer weeks I reached out to friends to make plans. Or if a friend asked us to do something I did my best to say YES!

I didn't know Andy wasn't flying back into Tallahassee Friday, so when he let me know he was flying into Panama City and driving back I immediately thought of my good friend Heather who lives there.  I've been wanting to visit she and her 4 boys.  So I texted her on Wednesday to see if they had plans and we quickly worked it out that we would come and hang out before picking Andy up at the airport.

That was the pick up we needed to get through the next few days.  The kids and I were so excited!

Instead of thinking we would see Andy Friday night, I knew Friday morning we would be waking up and hitting the road on our way to get daddy that afternoon.  :)

Heather has 4 boys and they are close in age to our 4.  They homeschool and do CC, so we have a lot in common.  They also just built a home, so that provided one more topic that we could spend hours talking about.  Not that we need any help coming up with things to talk about.  :)

As soon as we got there the kids ran off to play.

Davis found his buddy in age, Reid, and they ran outside to the sand table.  After a few minutes it was pretty quiet and so I looked out to check on them and I bust out laughing.  Those 2 little boys were side by side, pants at their ankles having a potty break.  I didn't get a picture of the act itself, but you probably get the idea.  :)

Heather made us a delicious lunch.  Quesadillas, cheese puffs, and strawberries for the kids.  (With yummy, gooey brownies for dessert)

And for us, she made this delicious Kale salad.  There was a homemade Caesar dressing and roasted chick peas.  I'm looking forward to trying this salad at home.

*And of course she had my favorite candy for dessert. :)

I loved Heather's new home.  She has a great sense of style and taste.

Here's a few pics.

Guest Bath

Living Room

One of my favorites was her wall of photos on the stairs.

We had talked about going to the beach since they live so close, but it was a little chilly that morning so we thought it would be best to hang out at the house.

At one point I got a message from Andy saying that his flight was delayed, so we decided to head to the beach.

It was beautiful!

I love this next picture because all 8 of our kids are in it.  When we met 20 years ago, I don't think we would have ever imagined how many wonderful children we'd be blessed with.

Andy's flight ended up not being delayed, so we didn't get too much time at the beach, but we had a few minutes to sit and stick our toes in the sand and enjoy watching these kiddos loving life.  :)

We rushed out of there, when we pushed the time limit as long as we could, and hustled to Andy.

Everyone was exited to see him, and we loved being together again!

Tonight our boys loved it too.  ;)

 The best way to fall asleep.  :)

This season of travel has taught me many things.

One of the best lessons I am choosing to take away from this time is to enjoy and appreciate our time together.

If you are together as a family this weekend I pray that you will delight in it and praise the Lord for this wonderful gift.  :)