I specifically remember years ago, when I taught at a local Christian school, our headmaster was sharing something with us. I don't remember all that he said, but I do remember him mentioning laying prostrate before the Lord that morning praying. It struck me, that this man, who I admired and respected, would be open enough with all of us to share something so intimate about his time with the Lord.
I just was listening to a sermon the other day and the pastor was mentioning prayer. He said, "why do we think that we are always to bow our heads, fold our hands, and close our eyes in order to pray?" I know one reason. As a mom of 4 little ones it helps everyone stay on the task at hand. :) But, I love that he pointed this out to me. So as I "lay" the other morning, I felt this overwhelming feeling of complete submission to my Father. Honestly, at first it felt a little weird, but it quickly changed. As I lay there praying "I want more of you God", I felt like I was giving Him everything I had.
I thought this picture was sweet, showing a little boy imitating another laying prostrate. (FYI: I wondered why, when I searched for pictures of laying prostrate I saw so many pictures of priests. This is what I found out: It symbolizes his unworthiness for the office to be assumed and his dependence upon God and the prayers of the entire Christian community to be successful in his new ministry. I thought that was very interesting and important to share.)
This picture made me think about my mothering, which I do often. (understatement!) I constantly grade myself on the job I'm doing. So often the grade I give myself is based on my kids behavior. And so often I feel like I'm failing because inevitably one of the kids seems to be struggling in any given moment. But, aren't we all sinners? Who amongst us is perfect? I know I'm not! But, how often do I give grace? (to them or myself!)
I want my kids to grow up knowing their need for Jesus! I don't want to try to make them into these perfect little humans who think they can do it on their own. Yet, that's what I find myself trying to do.
As this boy is imitating this man, I find my kids imitating me. Sometimes it's a blessing, but many times it points out my struggles and sins.
"Don't talk like that to your brother!"
But, I remember how I spoke to them.
"You need to have a happy heart."
But, I pass the mirror and notice my lack of smile.
*Here's a favorite
"Do everything without complaining or disputing." (Phil 2:14)
But, I remember complaining about how much I have to do this week.
The list could go on and on. I always say that I used to think I was a pretty good Christian, but then I had children and more than ever God has helped to reveal my need for Him.
John 15:5 says, "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing."
Nothing! Oh, what a strong word. But, how true it is. The days I don't find time to spend with the Lord I feel like I have nothing to give. I may start out the day okay, but by breakfast :) "I" am running out. So "I" get to the end of myself, and need "HIM".
I really do want more of God, because I find such joy and peace and rest in Him. The more I fill with Him, the more I want of Him.
Today, a dear friend took my 3 boys home with her for this afternoon so that I could do any last minute things I needed to get done in order to host a bible study at my house tonight.
I'm sure that there are areas that could be cleaner and places that could be more organized. In fact, as I type that I am tempted to get up and begin on Ellis's kitchen which is right in my line of sight. :)
But, all I wanted to do was get into the Word. I opened up to one of my favorite books, Philippians, and began to read. Just a side note here....I have had seasons where it felt like drudgery to open my Bible, and I really didn't crave it, but can I encourage you just to open it? The desire will come as you see how ALIVE the Bible is. It may have been written in the past, but it will speak to your current situation today.
So as I was reading Philippians, the urgency, stress, overwhelming feelings I've had began to leave and were replaced with words I can cling to. I wrote some down, re-read some over and over, and praised God for a friend who gave me this unexpected time.
As I welcome ladies into my home tonight, I am excited that I had time to fill with Him. Whether my house looks perfect, my soul has been restored.
"The Lord is my shepherd:
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul...."
Psalm 23:1-3a
May you consider praying in a different way. Whether it's standing with your hands lifted high, kneeling beside your bed, or laying prostrate before Him....may you feel His presence and His never-ending love.
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