The Yes Project....Success?

So, I completed my project and can I tell you something?  It was....

HARD!

By lunch time I was worn out.  I was not expecting that!  I think it was because it required me to be more present and involved.  It was interesting to me how many times I still said my quick no without thinking and then immediately changed my answer to yes.  (side note:there were still a few required "no's" when some discipline was necessary, but I said many more "yes's" than I normally do.)

Here's a few tangible ways I said "yes" and what I learned from it.

The kids often ask to help me with breakfast, specifically stirring up the eggs.  That may not seem like a big deal, but if I say "yes" to one of my children, each of them wants a turn, and that turns into a much sloooowwwwer morning.  But, I knew I was going to say "yes" and it turned out to be fun and each of the kids really enjoyed being my helper.  And, the eggs turned out especially good that morning.  I'm sure it was from all of the extra stirring.  ;)

When we sat down to do our read-a-louds, we read this book...

Davis and Ellis love all books by this author.  We discovered this author through checking out books at the library.  They are very simple board/picture books, but they love the little baby character.  This particular book focuses on fun with a box.

So, we were reading this story (again) and the kids (again) said that they wished they had a birthday box to play in.  Now, this wasn't quite a "yes" and "no" question, but I knew that overlooking it is like saying a "no", so I excused myself and went and gathered some boxes!  (we have a few I've been storing since we will be moving)  The kids were thrilled!  But, even the fun comes with some conflict.  We had to figure out who was in what box, Ellis didn't want to share a box, the boys were figuring out how to fit all of their blankets and guns, etc. in the box.  So our usual snuggling, reading time on the couch turned into interruptions every 5 seconds, crying from Ellis, and Drew shushing everyone as he tried to listen.

Two days later, we still have the boxes out and they are still being enjoyed!

 After reading time, Davis asked to do school with us.  So often I dismiss him, because I need to get school done with Drew and Knox and figure if there is time leftover we can work on something.  But, I said "yes" and he was so excited!  I was able to enjoy working on the letter "K", from Confessions of a Homeschooler, and the big boys had some independent work they were able to complete in the mean time.  We had a great time together and I'm so glad I took the time to say "yes".

 

Here's a "yes" I wasn't sure of.  When I began working with Knox he asked if he could use a marker for his copy work.  I don't want him getting accustomed to using markers, but since I said I would say "yes" to all reasonable requests I said yes.  He really thought this was a special treat, and he did a great job with his handwriting (luckily)!

Drew was watching and said he wanted to use crayon, so I allowed it, and he began writing.  Within two words he figured out that writing with pencil was much easier, and switched back without my prompting.

As I reflected on this later, I realized that so often I tell them what to do and give them, what I think, are the best ways to do things.  I am glad I can be here to guide them, but often times I "think" for them.  I want to give them opportunities to test and try things on their own, and figure out what the "best" is for them.  Drew's writing was an example of this for me.  Instead of just telling him to write with a pencil, because I know he may need to erase and I know the point of the pencil is sharper and easier to write with than a crayon, he discovered this on his own.  It's time I extend the rope and give them a little more freedom, so that they can have opportunities to choose on their own what best choices are.  I hope I will remember that this will come with some failures AND choices that are different than what I would choose.

And....this girl asked to watch a show.  :)

I don't think the kids ever caught on to "The Yes Project", but I will say they definitely appreciated my willingness to allow them to do more, try more, ........and eat more! (they did get extra snacks, because they asked!) ;)

I found the following day, that although my experiment was over, my yes's came easier, and I considered more carefully what I said "no" to.  Although I was exhausted at the end of the day, I would say "The Yes Project" was a huge success!