Iron sharpens Iron

I had a friend text me this morning asking about a passage she was reading in the Bible.  She wasn't asking me because I have some super spiritual insight, but because she knows I have a good commentary that I can reference.  : )  I love this for several reasons.

1.  I love that I have a friend who is really digging into the Word and wanting to examine it, study it, and apply it to her life.

2.  I love that I have a friend who thinks nothing of texting first thing in the morning :), because she has already been in her Bible.

3.  I love that I have a friend who loves talking about things of God, but also texts me about working out, hair products, cute clothes, homeschooling, etc.

4.  I love having a friend who helped me take a second look at a story I read a few weeks ago, and caused me to really meditate on it and look at it deeper. 

I'm not sure if this sound strange to some of you, but I had so much fun texting back and forth with her several times discussing our thoughts on this passage.  So much so, that my eggs began to burn because I was distracted (in a good way). : )

I have lived in Tallahassee for almost 14 years and I feel so blessed to have several close girlfriends with whom I can get encouragement, share my heart, ask for prayer, and grow in the Lord with.  What a wonderful gift from the Lord!

This story that my friend was talking about is in Acts 7, and it is about the stoning of Stephen.  Oh, what a powerful story, and one that I'm sure I could camp on for weeks and continue to receive insight about. 

There are a few things that immediately stuck out to me about this story.  One has to do with the actual stoning.  I think about how as Christians we may not be hit with actual rocks, but there are times when "stones" are thrown.  It can be someone making fun of you for your beliefs, it can involve being excluded from a group because you don't "fit in", it can be getting a reprimand at school or at work because you said the name of Jesus, or any number of things.  Some stones hurt worse than others.  In our apologetics course this week, our instructor shared a quote by C.S. Lewis that I wrote down.  (As much as I could because it was long!)  Here's part of it.

"One of the greatest difficulties is to keep before the audiences mind the question of Faith.  They always think you are recommending Christianity not because it is true, but because it is good.

 

One must keep on pointing out that Christianity is a statement which, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance.  The one thing it cannot be is moderately important."

 

That really makes me think.  Are the stones worth it?  Absolutely.  Are they painful?  Most of the time.  But, as this quote was shared, there were different faces that popped into my mind.  Faces of people I care about that don't know the Lord.  I know that Christianity is real and true.  How do I know?  Because it is confirmed deep down in my soul, and I have witnessed God work in my life and the lives of those around me.

 

Steven lost his life.  He was murdered sharing the Gospel.  It's hard to even think I can compare my "stones" to the ones that were thrown at him, and that's not what I'm trying to do.  What I am trying to say is that obedience to the Lord is what brings complete peace and joy and purpose.  So, no matter what comes at me, I desire to keep my eyes looking up, and not around. 

 

But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to Heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.  "Look," he said, "I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God."

Acts 7:54-55

This was right before he was stoned.

 

I care too much what people think about me.  I always have, and it has been a struggle for me.  I want to get to the point where if God urges me to share the Gospel with someone I will do it, regardless of the "cost", because as C.S. Lewis said, if Christianity is true, it is of infinite importance.

 

I won't go into it now, but if you continue reading you will see that the people persecuting Stephen laid their clothes at the feet of a young man.  This man was there giving approval to his death.  This man persecuted many Christians.  This man was Saul....who soon would be known as Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament. 

 

Is there someone in your life that you have given up on?  You think there's no way they will ever receive Christ?  Read Saul/Paul's story and be greatly encouraged.  His story is one of such a powerful transformation that there should be no one in whom we give up on. With God "all things are possible!"

 

Here's Knox's favorite praise song to encourage us all that nothing is impossible with our Lord.  Amen.

 



 

 

Psalms

So a few friends and I decided to read Psalms and Proverbs this month.  If you read 5 Psalms per day and 1 Proverb you will have read both books in one month.  It's been a definite blessing to be reading these books of the bible, and also to be encouraging one another as sister's in Christ.  So far, I have had an opportunity to read mine first thing in the morning before the kids get up.  Since Andy hasn't been in town, I have been skipping gym time and instead waking up early for some alone time.  Although, I shouldn't really say it's been alone time, because it's been a precious time with the Lord.

Each morning I would have my journal open, ready to write any verses that particularly speak to me. 

Yesterday, our reading involved my favorite verse, Psalm 37:4.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

I think that used to be my favorite verse because I thought that meant if I was being a "good" Christian girl then God would give me anything I wanted.  : )  I now have come to understand, in a real way, that if I am delighting in the Lord and spending time with Him, His desires become mine.  I have found His desires to be much more fulfilling than what I desire.

I love that as we mature in our walk with Him, he constantly teaches us and opens our hearts and eyes to new, deeper, more fulfilling truths.

Today started off in Psalms and Proverbs and then Andy and I headed to our building site to have a meeting about some questions we had.  Everything went really well.  We are in the beginning stages of building, and I must say that it has been stressful for me, especially when things don't go how we think they are supposed to.  But, every time we talk with one of our builders we come away with deep reassurance that everything is going to work out.  That's a large part of why we chose these particular builders, because we believe they are wonderful and clear communicators, which is so important in this process.  I am learning not to let things linger, but to put in a call or e-mail when it's necessary and to work it out as quickly as possible.  Today, we got to see some of the roofline.  So exciting!

When we got home I needed to get some school done, and since Drew was getting over being sick, I was able to work one on one with Knox.  Oh, how I pictured this being such a special time for the two of us.  That's where I began to set myself up for frustration.  Anytime I have an expectation set up in my mind, and it doesn't happen I begin to get upset. 

For starters, Ellis and Davis had already been playing that morning.  Now, looking back I realize that it would have been helpful to spend some time with them first before trying to jump into school with Knox.  Knox and I sat down to do some work, which was hard for him, since he was the only one having to do anything today, so already he was struggling with his attitude a little.  Add that to fairly consistent disruptions with the littles, and my nerves were already on edge.  We completed Language Arts and moved onto Math.  I thought I was leaving him with something he knew how to do since it was a review, so I went to spend time with the littles.  He came to me within a few minutes, proudly showing me his book and I saw that every single problem was wrong.  I was biting in my words and did not use loving words to point out his mistakes.  I could see that I had begun to crush his spirit.  I went back to the table with him to begin to work out these problems, and was frustrated because I felt he wasn't putting forth any effort.  At that point we should have taken a break and had a breather.  It's so easy to look back on what I should have done.  Instead, I thought about how important it was that we completed this assignment and ended up pushing Knox to the point of tears.  Eventually, I realized that enough was enough and we put it aside until tomorrow.

Tonight at dinner Andy was asking Knox how school went and he looked at me, waiting for my response.  I told him that he should share since daddy asked him.  What he said really made me sad and also made me take a closer look at my actions and words today.  He didn't remember any of his accomplishments today, which he did have that I didn't mention, he just talked about how he messed up and how he wasn't concentrating and working hard enough.  I know words have great power, yet I continually fail as I spew out words that are unkind on those I love the deepest. 

It made me think of a Psalm I read last week and wrote down.  Psalm 19:14 says...
"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength and my redeemer."

I want my words to be acceptable.  I know I will fall short.  That's part of having a sin nature.  Yet, my prayer is that the more I fill with Him, the more my words will reflect His love, and the more I can love on this little guy, regardless of the situation we are in.

 

Tonight I also got a some special time with this guy.

 

 

Andy needed us to pick up some medicine at Publix, so the two of us ran out to get it.  Even though that doesn't sound exciting, any time I can get time one on one with one of the kids is special.

 

Since he hasn't been feeling well, I told him to let me know if he saw some sort of food that looked good.  We began in the bakery, but go figure, he picked out cantaloupe as his special treat.  :)

 

After Publix, I needed gas, so I let him pump for the first time.  I forget how such little things can become so meaningful to these little guys.

 

 

We had one more stop, and after we dropped off some much overdue library books we headed home.  We had to take a detour which took us by Andy's old high school, and we saw that the band was out practicing, so we pulled in to watch for a few minutes.

 

I'm not sure if everyone knows this, but I was in band from 6th-12th grade and I LOVED IT!  I was also a cheerleader, so from 10th grade on, I marched at half-time in my cheerleading uniform.  Looking back I am so grateful for such a great band teacher and cheerleading coach who allowed us to do both and didn't make us choose.  Although I cheered a few years in college (Junior College!!), looking back I have such fond memories of band and playing music.  I'm so glad I got to experience both.

 

So Drew and I sat and watched for a few minutes and just enjoyed being together.

 

 

I'm so thankful to the Lord for all that He's blessed me with and how He is continually teaching me and pruning me.  It's not always easy and many times it's painful, but on the other side it always brings me peace and joy.

 

Here's a song that remind me once again it's not about anything in this world, but it's all about Jesus.  This is also a touching tribute to Ruth Graham.

 

I am praying that I will continue to be open and willing to receive what the Lord wants to speak to me.  May the same be true for you. :)

 

Our weekend

Andy got home Friday and we were all sooooooooooooo happy to see him!  It felt like he had been gone such a long time and I really do think it's true that "absence makes the heart grow fonder".  Andy held Ellis and she kept kissing him over and over.  She loves her daddy.  When the boys saw his car pull in you would have thought they had just seen a superhero the way they all screamed and ran to the door.  (Of course, he is OUR superhero) 

Andy was able to put Davis and the big boys to bed, which they loved.  This gives them time to read together, cuddle, and be alone with him.  By the time he got downstairs we attempted to watch our new favorite HGTV show, Fixer Upper, but within a few minutes I heard soft snoring from the big leather chair.  Even though he was asleep I was content to eat my pretzel M&M's and search for plumbing fixtures on line for our house.  Exciting Friday night?  Maybe not.  But in my book it was perfect because we were all together again, (and I was eating m&m's).  Did I mention that? ;)

Saturday morning I skipped the gym, which surprised me since I had missed working out all week, but I really desired a morning home with the family.  We hung out and then decided to go and see the progress on our house since they started framing this past week.  It was so exciting to see actual walls going up!  Here are a few pictures.

 

Here are the kids in the room we are planning to make into our family game room, where we can play board games and hang out together.  It's the living room in the front of the house.

This is looking out the front of that room.  It will have French doors that lead onto the front porch.

 

This is what will hopefully be one of my favorite rooms, the homeschool room.  We spend so many hours doing school that I'm looking forward to turning this into a space that we will enjoy being in.

 

The homeschool room will have doors that will lead onto this area, which will be a screened porch.  I envision us opening the doors and schooling in and out.  And then we will probably be tempted by the outdoors and have to take some breaks to go run around.  (At least that's what I hope will happen.)  :)

 

 

This is the view out one of our master bathroom windows.  Those are horse pastures across the road.

After we checked out the house, we went to Drew's football practice.  I watched for awhile and then the littles and I went to the playground for the remainder of the time.  It turned out great, because someone was having a birthday party and invited us to have some of their leftover cake.  Normally, I am polite and pretty much say thanks but no thanks, but today I thought, why not?  The mom mentioned how glad she was that we came over because she feels like people can be so stand offish.  I think most of us think we are being polite, but I figured she wouldn't have asked anyone if she didn't want others to share.  Davis and Ellis loved it, and I got to meet and talk with a sweet mom who is a Christian, and we found out we have a mutual friend.

 

 

The rest of our Saturday involved football on TV.  Go Gators! And, a girls grocery shopping trip.  Nice and normal is great with me!

 

This week at Classical Conversations the presentations were to tell a New Testament story.  Each of the boys picked what they wanted to do, and then we brainstormed together what props we could bring.  Drew wanted to share about the man with leprosy being healed and Knox came up with the idea of putting marks on a shirt.  So the 3 boys cut out red splotches and taped them to a jacket.  This way in the beginning of the story Drew could wear it, and then when the man was healed he could take it off.

 

Knox wanted to tell the story of the Passover Last Supper.  His props were fairly easy to figure out.  He just needed wine (grape juice) and bread.  Knox asked if he could do communion as a family to practice and since Andy was leaving town again early Sunday and we weren't going to make it to church, we thought this was a wonderful time to do this.

 

Knox did a great job leading our family!

Not to be left out Davis wanted to do his "presentation" too.  He decided on David and Begliath.  In case you've not heard of Begliath, you may be more familiar with Goliath.  :)

 

Davis wanted to act his out, so he and his brothers did so.

 



 

Here is Begliath getting his head cut off.  As a family of  3 boys we can't leave out this important part of the story.

As I said before, Andy was back on the road again early yesterday and we really missed him, but we are so grateful that we got to have a great Saturday together.  And he comes home tonight and will be home a little over a week before traveling again! 

 

Today I was so ready to see friends again, and I am so thankful we have such a wonderful community to look forward to attending each Monday.

 

This is Knox's class after completing their "vertebrates" for science.

I'm also thankful for a place where the boys can do a few projects/crafts so that I don't have to feel guilty about rarely doing them.  :)

 

I hope that you had a great weekend and

Happy Monday!

 

Here's another favorite song.  I've listened to it for years and love it.  It's all about Jesus.  : )

 



We Sing Hallelujiah, The Lamb Has Overcome

It's been a really good week!  But, if you had asked me leading up to this week what I was expecting it to look like I would have anticipated it looking something like this...

 

or like this...

 

That's because Andy left early Monday morning before the kids woke up and wasn't come home until today (Friday).  I don't know the last time he has been gone this long at one time, but it has been a while.

 

Initially I was anxious leading into this week, because I was worried about how things would go.  We had several things planned, like our first day of Classical Conversations, football practice, etc.

 

But, I have been spending time in the bible daily and I have been encouraged and filled with peace.  The peace that passes understanding. : )  I knew I wouldn't have had peace if I began to ponder what this week may entail on my own.

 

So Monday morning I told Andy good-bye and Knox got up with me to say good-bye and then told me his tummy hurt.  I was sure it was because he was going to miss daddy so much and he is the one in our family who LOVES all of us being together.  A little before lunch I could tell he wasn't doing too well and so he laid down and eventually got "sick".

 

A few months ago I began the tradition of letting the big boys sleep with me when Andy's out of town.  I know they like it, but honestly it helps me to feel less lonely when I crawl into bed each night.  Even if Knox tends to sleep all over us. :) Since Knox was sick, Drew decided to sleep on the floor next to us.  About midnight I woke up to Knox throwing up in the bed and all the way to the bathroom.  Drew promptly sat up and announced that he would be sleeping in his room that night.  I helped Knox and then began to peel off the bed sheets to wash, and I was suddenly struck with the thought...."I'm not melting down!"  In the past I think I would probably have begun to cry or sulk or allow myself to have a little "woe is me pity party", but instead I just did what needed to be done and tucked Knox back into a pallet on the floor (with a bucket beside him), and laid a blanket on the bed for me to sleep on.  An incident, that in the past could have grown to epic proportion, was nothing more than a middle of the night interruption.  And, I can tell you I praise the Lord for that.  I have no doubt that the filling of His Word lately has affected me.

 

The next day Knox rested up and was completely better by Wednesday to attend our co-op.

 

We had several things planned this week, many of them fun, along with some unplanned things, like a dr.'s appointment I forgot about and a piece of my car dragging from underneath that I had to get fixed, but none of them made me come unglued.  It hasn't been a perfect week as you can see from sweet Ellis' picture and I haven't reacted calmly and lovingly in every instance, but I know the Lord is working on me and filling me with His presence.

 

Last night I went to bed exhausted!  I thought how glad I was that it was the end of this week alone, and how I could hopefully sleep in with the kids, but around 6:15 this morning the Lord stirred my soul and I got up to have some "true" quiet time with Him.  I've been reading Psalms and Proverbs with a few friends and they have been so calming, encouraging, and challenging, but this morning I also spent some time in Acts.

 

Lately I have felt like I'm having my own personal revival and that has gotten me interested in the early church, especially after it was mentioned in our Apologetics class last Monday.

 

This morning I was really struck by a story in Acts chapter 5 where the apostles are being persecuted.  Here's a little synopsis of the story.

 

The Sanhedrin is filled with jealousy over Peter and the apostles performing miraculous signs and wonders, so they put them in jail.  But, an angel of the Lord came, opened the doors and let them out and told them to "Go tell the people the full message of this new life".  So at daybreak they were again teaching the people.  When the Sanhedrin found out they brought the apostles before them and said "we told you not to teach".

 

This is their response that I think is so important to take hold of. 

Verse 29 "We must obey God rather than men!"

How powerful!  Obeying God and what He calls us to do, no matter what the consequence.  Then in verses 30 and 31 they proclaim the gospel message. 

 

That angered these men listening and they wanted them put to death, but a man named Gamaliel who was a Pharisee, teacher of the law, and honored by all people stood up.

 

That made me think...would I stand up?  Do I stand up?  Will I stand up when I see an injustice?

 

In verse 35 he says "Consider carefully what you intend to do to these men."  He then mentions two different men who led groups, but they were killed along with their followers.  He told them to let these men go.  He ends it by saying (vs. 38-39) "For if their purpose is of human origin it will fail, but if it's from God you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God."

 

It says that his speech persuaded them so they let them go.  BUT, not before they flogged them and ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus.

 

So what would I do?  What would you do?  It's easy to read what the apostles did...

"Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is Christ."

 

But, for just a moment I really want to put myself in their shoes.  If I had been put in jail, beaten, and told more than once not to do something what would I do?  I pray that I would have the boldness and conviction that these men did to continue answering the call that the Lord put on their lives.  I guess we never truly know how we will react in a situation until we are in it, but their example is one I want to live by.  And as verse 41 tell us...

"The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the name."

 

This morning I heard Pastor Courson share that we are more concerned with our present state, but God is more concerned with our eternal state.

 

May God continue to open my spiritual eyes to see what He wants to teach me, and may I continue to put away the distractions of this world.  I want to remember that it's not necessarily about this week, or next, or even 10 years from now.  What God is doing is for eternity!

 

I've had many seasons in my life, valleys and mountaintops, but I must say from where I am now, the more I am in the Word, the more I want of Him and the more I yearn for truth.  May you be encouraged today to dig into the Bible to see how our living God wants to speak personally to your heart today.

Oh, and if you were worried about Ellis, shortly after the tears, things got much better. 

 

 

Here's another worship song that I pray blesses you, and is where the title of my post came from. :)

 



And Here We Go....

CC is back in session and we were all so excited to go this morning!

 

Andy is out of town, but our morning went very smoothly.  Praise the Lord!  I am the opener for our group, which means I have to be on time.  In fact, I almost didn't sign up to do that job again, even though I really loved it, because I know what a challenge it can be to get everyone ready and out the door in a timely manner.  Especially if Andy isn't home to lend a helping hand.  But, when I made the decision to sign up to open the group, I knew I just needed to do what I could to prepare the night before.  So, I laid out clothes, got our cooler ready to be filled with lunch food, got out pre-packaged muffins for breakfast that I had been reserving for this first day back (Hey-whatever it takes!), and tried to go to bed in a timely manner so that I wouldn't be too tired this morning.

 

So here are the kids ready to head out the door.  I bought an apple for each of the kids to give their tutors for the first day of class.  Davis was so excited to have one to give his teacher (in the preschool nursery), that he wouldn't put it down.  One of the kids forgot to give theirs, and Ellis ate part of hers during the opening ceremonies.  Oh-well.  It's the thought.  :)

 

 

This is the first year that Drew and Knox aren't in the same class.  Knox has my good friend Ms. Kelly as his tutor, and Drew has the same tutor he has had the past 2 years, Mrs. Lindsey.  We couldn't ask for better tutors. :)

 

Here is Knox playing a review game in his class.  It's a sweet class of boys and Ms. Kelly did an amazing job!  This is the first class that she has ever tutored.

 

 

We always get to have lunch with our friends on the playground after class.  The boys run around and play boy games, and Ellis will either hang out with one of her older girl friends or go explore.  Today, she and her sweet friend Hollis decided to use their mama's CC books to have a little learning time themselves.  I'm wondering how much they will already know before they are ever officially in class.

 

 

I love our community and I love the concept of Classical Conversations.  The longer I'm exposed to it and the more I learn about it, the more I see the benefit of schooling this way.  I don't believe there is any "best" way of schooling, but I feel so blessed that the Lord orchestrated our path to be a part of this community.

 

And, on a side note, one of our fun movies that I ordered for the boys and I to watch when daddy's out of town came.  We began watching it last night, and we were thoroughly enjoying it!  I can't wait to watch more!

 

 



Apologetics

So I signed up for a 6 week class at church on apologetics.  And in all seriousness I don't even know what that means.  :)

A few weeks ago I was at Wednesday night church and they made an announcement about a bible study called "Defending the Faith".  I immediately felt an urging in my spirit to sign up.  I had heard it announced several times, but this night I knew that it was a class I should take, so as soon as church ended I went and signed up.  I knew if I waited until the next day I would talk myself out of it.  Monday is our homeschool co-op day which usually leaves me worn out, I also knew Andy would be out of town for at least the first 2 classes which means I would need to work out childcare, and although I didn't know it at the time, it is also going to conflict with Knox's flag football practice.  But, I signed up and made the commitment....and was introduced to apologetics.

Tonight was our first class.  Andy's parents happily agreed to watch the kids for me, which made it very easy to have that aspect taken care of. 

Just to backtrack for a minute....this morning I decided to continue on in 1 Peter and I when I came to 1 Peter 3:15 I stopped and was struck with the thought that this was exactly what my class tonight was all about.

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.  But do this with gentleness and respect"

I kept thinking about that verse throughout the day and it was getting me excited about what was to come tonight.  I want to be prepared.  I do have hope, but I want to be able to clearly share that hope with others.

Well, wouldn't you know it, that's the verse our teacher opened with tonight.  I wanted to raise my hand and let him know that God led me to that very verse this morning in preparation for this class, but I decided it probably wasn't the time to share that. :)

But, it did confirm for me that I was there to prepare.  I want to dig in more.  I want to know how to engage with unbelievers and those who are deceived.  And I want to do this with gentleness and respect as it says in this verse. 

I took pages of notes tonight and want to share a few of the points.

He said it is so important to be building up our spiritual muscles.  I need to be spending time in the Word and with God through prayer.  John 14:6 says "Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."  Since Jesus is the only way to the Father, then I need to know Jesus. 

Then he began to share about Paul in Acts 17 going and speaking to others on their own turf, in the meeting of the Areopagus.  I have never even heard of Areopagus!  But apparently it was full of the philosophers of the day.  Paul established a line of communication with the audience and then moved from their world to Christianity and gave them Truth.  At this point our instructor Mark stopped and said something that really hit me.  He said that it's not enough to know "about" Him, we need to "KNOW" him every second of every day. 

I've always believed that you are the best example of Jesus that people can see.  Yes I mess up, as I've already blogged about several times :), but I want to be real and to share with others about what Jesus has done in my life and is doing in my life.  I don't just want to tell someone a good verse to read, I want to tell them how a verse changed me.  I don't just want to tell someone a prayer request, I want to tell someone how God answered my prayers.  I don't just want to read verses to my children about God being love, I want to shower them all day with God's love.  And as I was sitting and listening tonight, God was putting faces and names in my mind of people that I don't just want to care about and have a nice friendship with, but people that I want to share Jesus with.  

A realization hit me tonight.  I don't have to be perfect to be used by Him!  Of course I know that perfection isn't possible.  If it was, we wouldn't need a Savior.  But, I guess I keep believing that I need to be more mature in the Lord, or know more verses, or.....something.  But, what I realized is that all I need to be is willing. 

We are just called to give the message. 

"And so it was with me, brothers and sisters. When I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God.  For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling.  My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power,  so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power."

1 Corinthians 2:1-5

It's not up to me.  It's not my power or my words or my knowledge....it's all God.  It's His power that saves.  It's God that works through us. 

So that brings us back to what is apologetics? 
According to Wikipedia:
Christian apologetics is a field of Christian theology which attempts to present a rational basis for the Christian faith, defending the faith against objections.

So I want to leave you tonight with something Nancy Pearcy wrote in her book Saving Leonardo that our teacher shared with us. 

Many people operate as though the definition of faith were, Don’t ask questions, just believe.

They quote Jesus himself, who taught his followers to have the faith of a child (Mark 10:15).

But I once heard Francis Schaeffer respond by saying, “Don’t you realize how many questions children ask?”

 

We are surrounded by so many with questions and as our teacher kept saying tonight, they are stuck.  For me it all goes back to 1 Peter 3:15

 

...Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have...

 

May I be prepared, willing, and ready to allow God to do a work.

 

A War Against My Soul

So this week while Andy was out of town, and since my body is accustomed to waking early to get to the gym, I was able to get up a little bit before the kids and sit with my Bible and journal and have a quiet time.  I really enjoyed it.  There is something very calming and intimate about waking before the sun rises and sitting in a quiet and calm home with your bible open, ready to receive whatever the Lord has for you.

I decided that I would read a Psalm to line up with the date (ex. August 28th read Psalm 28), and then from there I read some of what the kids and I have been reading together in Luke and then I was lead to read James.  I wanted to write down any verses that really struck me so that I could mull over them and meditate on them.  What really struck me is that at the end of writing down the verses and re-reading them I could see a definite message that was similar in all of them.  Here are the verses I wrote.

"...keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27

"get rid of all moral filth and evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you." -James 1:21

"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.  Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." -James 3:5

"Submit yourselves then to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you." -James 4:7

Then I continued into I Peter.

As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." -I Peter 1:14-16

"Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul." -I Peter 2:11

The last part of that last verse really struck me...WAR against your soul.  I can see how sinful desires war against my soul.  Seasons when I have been in the world my soul feel empty, but the time when I'm filling up with Jesus, my soul is delighting and joyful and full of peace.  What a difference. 

I wrote a prayer in my journal after reading these verses and part of it I wanted to share.  I prayed that the Lord would make the things of this world, that are unclean, unappealing.  I asked him to help me be turned off by the things that waste time. 

I REALLY enjoy TV!  Especially when Andy is out of town.  I love having my shows that I know I can sit down and relax with when the kids are in bed.  So the night after reading these verses I sat down to watch a recording and as I looked at a few of my choices that were listed I was convicted.  I went ahead and began one of the shows that I always question and in the first 2 minutes it was as if the scales had been peeled off of my eyes and I could see it for the filth it was.  I am in no way trying to be judgemental of others and I know we all have personal convictions, but right now I am convinced that the Lord is asking me to "clean up" some of my choices.  So I deleted it.  That sentence was easy to write, but the delete button was not so easy to push!  I really wanted to see what had happened on that nights episode and was really disappointed that I didn't feel right watching it, but I kept thinking about the "sinful desires warring against my soul" and I finally made the decision that I didn't want what I was watching that night to be a part of me.  I am tired of being drawn into these programs. 

Time is limited and I want to spend my time on things that fill my soul with good things.  I believe it is, as I Peter says, a war.  I believe it begins with choices.  It just takes a compromise here and there, and then before I know it, it seems like the things of this world have a hold of me, instead of the things of the Lord.

The other night, I saw a commercial for the 19 Kids and Counting Wedding Special for Jill and I got so excited!  I love their family, and I love even more that I can watch their show and not worry whether one of my kids will get out of bed and overhear or see something on this program that they shouldn't.  It's so wholesome, uplifting, and encouraging.  So if anyone locally reads my blog and wants to join me Tuesday night, come on over!  :)

I know that TV is just one of the areas that the Lord is working on in me.  I am open and willing to let him speak to me and to direct me on how He desires for me to fill my life.  I guarantee that it will be more fulfilling to be following Him instead of being consumed by the things of this world. 

And again, since I have been so ministered to lately by wonderful praise songs I hope that you will enjoy this one.  :)

Our week :)

This has been a fairly busy week, hence the lack of a blog post, but it was a good week.  I implemented some changes to our homeschooling schedule which includes much more family reading time and that has made a huge difference in our schooling.  I feel like it's brought us together and given us a fun time to look forward to!

The start of our week began with friends nominating the boys for the ice bucket challenge.  I literally hadn't even heard of the ice bucket challenge until about a week after all my friends.  Since I'm not on facebook I have to depend on friends for the latest "news".  The boys were thrilled to be nominated and had a lot of fun completing the challenge.  (I can't get the video to upload correctly, but you can get the idea.) :)

 

Early in our homeschool week Davis completed one of his school books.  Anytime one of the kids completes a book we have a very short recognition time for them.  Everyone stops working and I call that child forward and present them with a special sticker with their name written on it.  We all clap and make a big deal about it.  They may then use that sticker later to redeem a reward.  It's usually their choice of 30 minutes on something like my phone, a computer game, or Wii.  I told Davis to go put a shirt on if he wanted to put his sticker on, then the next thing I knew I saw that he had stuck his sticker directly on his chest.  Oh well.  He loved it!

 

 

On Wednesday we headed to the Post Office to mail Knox's letter of intent to make him an official homeschooler.  You could tell it made him feel very important and special.  It's interesting what moments tend to stand out for your children.  You just never know, and I feel so blessed to get to witness them day in and day out.

 

 

Thursday morning we met friends out at our property to picnic and play.  It was so funny to watch as our friends brought out their "traveling" legos and we ended up with three separate groups spread out playing with Legos.  They really are the best toy ever invented (in my opinion).  :)

Andy was out of town for a few nights this week, so one night we went to church and one night we met friends at a weekly outdoor food truck gathering.  It was so much fun!  We purchased our food, found an area on the grass to spread out a blanket and the kids ran around while musicians were playing.  It was our first time trying it and we will definitely go back again.

 

 

 

Andy got back into town yesterday afternoon and we were all so excited to see him.  We never like to see him go, but it does make it a fun event when he arrives back home.  It really is true for us that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Every day at least one of the kids prays for "daddy to get home safely".  He is always on their minds. 

 

I have decided that while he is gone I will try to make it a special time, and not just a time where we count down the minutes until he comes home.  The other night Drew, Knox, and I looked on amazon and ordered several old Disney classics that we can watch on nights when Andy isn't here.  I figure if we watch a little bit together each night it will be something fun to look forward to.  We won't have time to do that every night, but on some of our more normal schedule days it will be something special that we can do together.

 

Today Knox and I went on a shopping date together.  He is in need of some new clothes and since he now needs to try things on before buying them he came with me.  Boy do I miss the days of 2T, 3T, etc.  Although I still get to do that with Davis and Ellis.  :) 

 

 

Today did give us some special one on one time together which was very nice.  Knox made mention that he thinks he remembers one time we went somewhere alone.  That really struck me.  It got me thinking about whether or not we ever are one on one.  I have done things several times with Drew and Knox, but it seems like we are often lumping the "bog boys" together and the "littles" together.  Since he made that comment as we left the house today I really tried to treasure our time together and take notice when he shared things or wanted to show me something.  His most exciting purchase of today was this hat.

 

It is hard to find a bigger Gator fan than this kid.  He sure does love his team!  He literally pointed out everyone he saw that was wearing a "red" shirt.  He's going to have to get used to that living in this garnet and gold town.  :)

 

Knox also helped me pick out an outfit for Ellis.  In October we always meet friends at a pumpkin patch for pictures and then we attend a local fall festival held by one of the churches.  I won't give away the entire outfit, but here's a sneak peek.

 

 

Tonight is the first Gator football game and I'm hoping the boys will get to see the start since there is a rain delay.  They sure are excited!

 

 

GO GATORS!

 

The Me Nobody Knows

Isn't it funny how sometimes we look at someone and draw a conclusion on how they must live, act, relate to others, etc.  I have found that I do that at the gym.  After consistently working out at my gym for over a year now, you begin to see familiar faces.   I have seen some of these people over and over, and slowly I have gotten to know some of them.  It begins with a little head nod, then a hello, and then conversations begin.  I have really enjoyed making "gym friends" and it's honestly one of the things I'm going to miss most when we move.  But, then there are others that I have never spoken with and in my mind I have guessed as to what job or career they may have.  There is a judge, a builder, a women's basketball coach, and a few others.  I think you get the picture.  One day I'm going to get up enough nerve to ask them what they actually do....and I'll be sure to report back here.  ;)

As a wife and mom I do something very similar.  I look at other families at church, or who homeschool, or who have blogs where their kids are always dressed adorably, smiling and seemingly experiencing life to the fullest.  But, I rarely see the ugliness.  I don't see when the mom took 30 pictures to get 1 good one, or spent too much money on the clothes to get the "look" she wanted, or the schoolwork uncompleted at the end of the day due to bad attitudes (mom and kids) :), or a "loving" wife yelling at her husband.

I know this ugliness to be true, because that ugliness is me. 

Today was a tough day. 

Lysa Terkuerst wrote a book called Unglued, which I highly recommend, and I would say it's the perfect way to describe my day.  I came completely unglued, and it was directed at Andy.  Without getting into the nitty gritty of my ugliness, I'll just say that I had needs and expectations that were unmet and I made it a point of letting it out on him.  We eventually went to our room to try and protect the kids from experiencing this attack (not sure what other word to use here) on one another, but it didn't matter.  They had already heard our voices, seen our faces, listened to our words...and it wasn't good.  We finally decided that we would have to finish this later because we needed to eat and we needed to discuss this without the kids around. 

I definitely struggle with apologies and forgiveness.  As we loaded up the kids and headed out to eat I was angry, and bitter, and resentful.  I had all sorts of feelings and emotions running through my mind.  Even when we got home and put the 2 littles to bed I was still upset.  But then something happened.  I realized that I could spend all night feeling justified and make my points even stronger, or I could spend time with the Lord and pray for my marriage and look to the bible for truth and encouragement.  My first thought was that I need to go to our room alone while Andy was putting Davis to bed and begin to do this, but as quickly as that thought came it was replaced with a clear thought...."humble yourself and apologize to your husband".   I didn't need to go sequester myself to realize what to do.  I knew what to do.  So I sat on the couch with the big boys waiting for Andy to come downstairs and I must say I couldn't hear his footsteps soon enough.  As soon as he came downstairs I told him I needed to talk with him before he left with Drew and Knox to go and get a special treat.

We found a space to be alone and I asked Andy to let me speak first.  As soon as I opened my mouth I began to pour out an apology and I was overcome with emotion.  I told him that I know it all stemmed from making it all about me and my needs and my expectations.  I truly desire for our home to be a safe place to be.  One where we can mess up, make mistakes, and be our true selves.  As I was sharing with him I began to open up about my deep down struggles, the daily disappointments of how I react to the kids, the missed moments of delighting in togetherness, the feelings of failure.  Instead of taking this moment to tell me how sorry I should be :),  he took this time to affirm me as a wife and a mom.  So instead of going to bed tonight with bitterness taking root in my heart, I will go to bed with joy in my heart at who God brought to answer my lifelong prayers of a husband. 

I hesitate to share this because of how raw and real this is, but I felt so strongly that I needed to.  I often times hear others remark on how they don't know how I do it with four kids, or how put together I appear.  The truth is, is that it's not all pretty.  There is definitely ugliness, there are mistakes, there is sin, but the real truth is that Jesus washed my sins white as snow.  The truth is
^"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 

The truth is in Jesus.  I am so grateful to know Him.  Praise God!

Again, I want to leave you with a praise song from church this morning that has been running through my head all day.  May the words of this song bless you as it did me.