A War Against My Soul

So this week while Andy was out of town, and since my body is accustomed to waking early to get to the gym, I was able to get up a little bit before the kids and sit with my Bible and journal and have a quiet time.  I really enjoyed it.  There is something very calming and intimate about waking before the sun rises and sitting in a quiet and calm home with your bible open, ready to receive whatever the Lord has for you.

I decided that I would read a Psalm to line up with the date (ex. August 28th read Psalm 28), and then from there I read some of what the kids and I have been reading together in Luke and then I was lead to read James.  I wanted to write down any verses that really struck me so that I could mull over them and meditate on them.  What really struck me is that at the end of writing down the verses and re-reading them I could see a definite message that was similar in all of them.  Here are the verses I wrote.

"...keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27

"get rid of all moral filth and evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you." -James 1:21

"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.  Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." -James 3:5

"Submit yourselves then to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you." -James 4:7

Then I continued into I Peter.

As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." -I Peter 1:14-16

"Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul." -I Peter 2:11

The last part of that last verse really struck me...WAR against your soul.  I can see how sinful desires war against my soul.  Seasons when I have been in the world my soul feel empty, but the time when I'm filling up with Jesus, my soul is delighting and joyful and full of peace.  What a difference. 

I wrote a prayer in my journal after reading these verses and part of it I wanted to share.  I prayed that the Lord would make the things of this world, that are unclean, unappealing.  I asked him to help me be turned off by the things that waste time. 

I REALLY enjoy TV!  Especially when Andy is out of town.  I love having my shows that I know I can sit down and relax with when the kids are in bed.  So the night after reading these verses I sat down to watch a recording and as I looked at a few of my choices that were listed I was convicted.  I went ahead and began one of the shows that I always question and in the first 2 minutes it was as if the scales had been peeled off of my eyes and I could see it for the filth it was.  I am in no way trying to be judgemental of others and I know we all have personal convictions, but right now I am convinced that the Lord is asking me to "clean up" some of my choices.  So I deleted it.  That sentence was easy to write, but the delete button was not so easy to push!  I really wanted to see what had happened on that nights episode and was really disappointed that I didn't feel right watching it, but I kept thinking about the "sinful desires warring against my soul" and I finally made the decision that I didn't want what I was watching that night to be a part of me.  I am tired of being drawn into these programs. 

Time is limited and I want to spend my time on things that fill my soul with good things.  I believe it is, as I Peter says, a war.  I believe it begins with choices.  It just takes a compromise here and there, and then before I know it, it seems like the things of this world have a hold of me, instead of the things of the Lord.

The other night, I saw a commercial for the 19 Kids and Counting Wedding Special for Jill and I got so excited!  I love their family, and I love even more that I can watch their show and not worry whether one of my kids will get out of bed and overhear or see something on this program that they shouldn't.  It's so wholesome, uplifting, and encouraging.  So if anyone locally reads my blog and wants to join me Tuesday night, come on over!  :)

I know that TV is just one of the areas that the Lord is working on in me.  I am open and willing to let him speak to me and to direct me on how He desires for me to fill my life.  I guarantee that it will be more fulfilling to be following Him instead of being consumed by the things of this world. 

And again, since I have been so ministered to lately by wonderful praise songs I hope that you will enjoy this one.  :)