Rest

I am discouraged.  I am tired.  I am at the end of myself. 

I don't want to be negative, but I do want to be real. 

I may be at the end of myself, but I will choose to be encouraged, because I know that is where God will pick me up, love on me, direct me, refresh me, share with me, reveal His truth to me, and use me. 

More than being tired, I am just discouraged with how I've been responding lately to the kids.  I am lacking in love and patience and kindness and really all the fruits of the spirit.  This made me think of this post from the past. :)  Fruit of the Spirit  I can't believe how little and cute Drew was!

So since I'm feeling discouraged, I decided to get out my journal and read through some of the verses I have been writing down lately.  As I read my Psalms and Proverb for the day I write down any verses that stir my heart.  Tonight it has been such a comfort for my soul.  I read about God commanding His angels to guard us (Psalm 91:11), the Lord being my fortress and rock (Psalm 94:22), that the Lord's purpose prevails (Prov. 19:21), that we should enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise (Psalm 100:4), and that our steps are directed by the Lord (Prov. 16:29, 20:24).  The verses that really stood out to me tonight were Psalms 91:1-2

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge

and my fortress,

my God in whom I trust. "

 

The words that really touched my heart were "rest" and "shadow".  If I dwell in His shelter I will find rest.  The word shadow made me think of when I was little and would walk beside my dad and find myself in his shadow.  What a safe feeling that was.  I want to stay in my Father's shadow.  I want to rest in that safe place. 

 

To be in His shadow I need to be walking with Him. 

 

This weekend in the mail I got a book by Ruth Graham.  To be honest I had completely forgotten that I had ordered it.  I think it was after I posted a song that was a tribute to her, that got me thinking more about her.  I thought about the fact that she had a husband who was on the road quite a bit and I could probably learn from reading her words.  This book was really more of her thoughts shared a page or two at a time; bits and pieces as she said in her conclusion.  It was a very quick and easy read.  I highlighted several things, and wanted to share a few.  But, before I do, I just want to share that one of the things that struck me most overall is how simple she was.  She didn't try to put on pretenses or impress others, or try to hide struggles.  Her book felt like a conversation with a sweet friend, and I have a feeling anyone who got to come into contact with her left feeling like a new friendship was born.

 

In her preface she stated, amongst other things, that she learned the most from an old, eternally contemporary Book and its Author.  How wise she was. 

 

She opened the book with a favorite of mine.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

somewhere ages and ages hence:

two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

and that has made all the difference.

                             ROBERT FROST

 

I hope to live my life in such a way that I take the road God has laid before me.  I know it may not always be the most popular path, but I truly believe it will make all the difference.

 

I'll close by sharing this song that was one from our weekend retreat and I love the words, especially the chorus. (I'm not sure if it's really the chorus, but that's what I'm going to call it.)  :)  I desire to put the world behind me, even if that means taking the road less traveled.

 

I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back.

I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back.

The cross before me, the world behind me

No turning back, no turning back

The cross before me, the world behind me

No turning back, no turning back.

 



 

I get tired as I look around, but when I look up I am reminded that it's all about Him.  The song says "Christ is enough for me".  I believe that is something I need to mediate on and ask God to help me grasp hold of.  I certainly believe that it's true, but I don't just want to believe it, I want to live it....