What is normal? The dictionary defines it using words such as usual, ordinary, a regular pattern, and not strange. :) I really like that last one. As I ponder what normal is, I think about the things in our family that seem normal to us, but may seem strange to others.
The fact that our two year old sleeps in our closet in a pack n play is completely normal to us (and her). I am curious as to what she will think of her new room with windows. ;)
It is completely normal for us to have the kids dressed up in a variety of costumes at any time. It's normal to see Ellis as a soldier or wearing a clone helmet 1/2 her size. (She does have 3 older brothers.) It's normal for the boys to come downstairs to show me who they are, when I didn't even know they were dressing up to begin with.
It is normal to see the kids during school time wearing next to nothing. On this day Ellis saw that none of her brothers had on much clothing so she insisted on taking hers off and would not allow me to put anything on her the entire morning.
Drew and Knox were doing school in their bathing suits on this day because we were meeting friends at a splash pad after we finished. They wanted to make sure they were ready to go. Completely normal for us:)
It's VERY normal to find this little one sneaking treats off of the counter. She is just the right height to do this and I wonder how many times she's done this and not been caught. :)
So... what is normal? All summer long I kept telling Andy I want a normal week. A normal week to me looks like one where he is home every night by dinner and has no travel or night time work commitments. Every spring as Andy works through session and the demanding hours it requires, I always say I look forward to when it ends and we can all catch our breath, and get back to "normal". Well, this year, as I mentioned in a previous post, session ended and the following Thursday he was on a plane to the Keys. I thought that was going to be a unique circumstance, but instead it was only the beginning. I longed for time this summer where he would be home more and we would "catch up" on the time he had been gone during session. As we have neared the end of summer I think there were a total of 2 or 3 weeks that didn't involve travel.
Last night, as Andy was informing me of his upcoming travel (and I was about to have a breakdown), I realized that I needed to redefine normal. I have discovered that when I hold certain expectations and then they are different than what I thought, I am overwhelmed with disappointment and resentment.
Here are some pictures that represent "reality" vs. "expectations". :)
Although these pictures make me laugh, and Andy's schedule does not, last night I realized that I need to redefine our normal; I need to change my expectation to reflect our current reality. The reality is that right now Andy has a lot of travel. The reality is that he isn't able to be home every night during the week. The reality is that Andy is working hard to provide for our family. The reality is that Andy isn't "choosing" to leave our family, he needs to fulfill his work obligations. The reality is that God will be there to help us through this time.
There is something very peaceful about changing unrealistic expectations and accepting reality.
This morning at church Pastor Kent was teaching on Luke 8:1-15, also known as the Parable of the Sower and the Seed. In these verses Jesus describes 4 kinds of hearts. One thing he said that specifically struck me was when he talked about the 3rd kind of heart. It's described in verse 14...
"Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity."
Oh yes, how I have felt choked by my cares, or as the NIV puts it "life's worries".
My desire is the have the 4th kind of heart.
"But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience." (vs.15)
My prayer is that by being in the Word, communicating with God throughout my day, and making a conscious effort to change my expectations, that I will bear fruit.
John 15:5 says...
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
Andy's travel is our "new" normal. I am not only accepting it, but I am embracing it. I am excited to see how God will teach me, strengthen me, and reveal Himself to me as I turn to Him to carry me through.
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